Fart Proudly

New Mexico

2011-12-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

Images from Albuquerque and Santa Fe

New Mexico, October 2011

Quote

2011-11-04T13:14:00.002-06:00

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

– Will Rogers

I like Mayan Numerals

2011-09-20T09:16:00.003-06:00

17 Sep, 2011

County Fair, or, How I Lost a Dollar

2011-08-24T22:00:00.006-06:00

I decided to do something I've never done before. I entered some of my photographs in the county fair, thinking that, hey, maybe I can get noticed, or at least I can feel like I've finally done something with my photography. I've felt that my wet leaf in a parking lot was the best image I shot last year, and that on my phone. Well, the results are in, and that leaf made me a dollar richer! It got a red ribbon. The other two, in clockwise order, got white and yellow. I was a little dumbfounded to see overexposed, or blurry, or both, images that got the same award, until I realized that the county fair is just like a pinewood derby or pee-wee soccer league: everybody gets a trophy. It would be nice to know what the judging criteria were though.

My wife entered a phone-cam image of our daughter and dog staring out the door, very moody, very contrasty and story-telling-y. Third place (though in all fairness (Fair-ness, get it?) this is cropped a little tighter than the fair entry).

One important thing I have learned is this: the best camera is the one you have with you.

Oh, and she spent my dollar.

Tiny changes.

2011-08-16T13:59:00.001-06:00

When my wife and I first got married, we bought a computer for school. It had had 128MB of RAM, a four-gig hard drive and Windows 95. And it cost well over a grand. The other day I got a 4GB thumb drive for six bucks. It's like I can fit that entire old machine in the change pocket of my jeans and have room to spare. On the other hand, I can lose everything as easily as dropping a paper clip.

There's Nothing Wrong With Photoshop

2011-08-01T10:11:00.001-06:00

I just (finally) downloaded the trail versions of Adobe Photoshop CS5 and Lightroom 3. These are awesome. Since buying my DSLR, I have been using the uncompressed RAW format instead of JPG to record my images. I’ve used the software that came with the camera, but Pentax is a camera/lens company, not a software design company and it left me wanting. Google’s free Picasa is great for basic stuff, and it even recognizes the RAW files, but it isn’t a RAW editor. Taken together, both programs can finish an image, but what a cumbersome workaround. ( I read someone else’s description that RAW + Photoshop is like having a negative and a darkroom and all the control you could want, where JPG is like getting your prints back from WalMart: you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. I wish I could track that down. I think it was on Adorama’s Learning Center.)

Now, before anyone screams back at me that Photoshop is cheating, I started in Black and White photography, learning Ansel Adams’ Zone System for exposure, developing and printing, so I already manipulated my silver-based images to achieve a specific result. Adams understood how to use filtration at the point of capture, how to expose for effect and how to develop and print the resulting images to achieve his vision for a given scene, extracting all the detail from a negative and all the emotion from a viewer, and he taught countless people how to do the same. If anyone thinks that his iconic images of Yosemite are exactly what was before his eyes, well, I’ve got a roll of TMAX 100 I’d like to sell you. Photographers manipulate “reality” to suit their vision. It’s that simple. They’ve been doing it in the chemical darkroom for 150 years and using Photoshop for the last 20.

If Monet had just painted a literal representation of what was in front of him, would a Monet be worth anything today? What about van Goh? Likewise, if Ansel Adams just pointed and clicked, would anyone talk about his work, or would there be a King's Canyon National Park? (OK, that last point is debatable, but his images had a key role there.) Artists use tools to convey a vision. Photoshop is one of the photographer’s tools, and it’s an important one. It's a given that every image you see in every magazine has been manipulated by the photographer, whether it’s just tweaking the contrast, or taking the basic image and making something fantastic with it. Really, the only bad Photoshop is obvious Photoshop.

When someone cries out disdainfully that something has been “photoshopped,” it doesn’t matter because it’s all subjective anyway. What matters is the intent of the image, the vision, the feeling the artist is trying to convey. Tools help an artist get there, and if I didn’t use those tools, my photos would look like the ones I took when I was nine and taking snaps with my Vivitar 35mm point-and-click. I will make an exception to the photoshopping-is-ok rule with journalistic photography. Significantly altering a journalistic image so that it no longer represents what happened is on the level of malpractice.

If you have a problem with Photoshop, let me ask, do you really want art to be as drab, mundane and washed out as the real world? Or do you look for it to show something that's better than life, something that elicits a personal response? I tend to lean toward a literal representation of what I see with some added drama, but I’m also having a great time unlocking the potential of my imagery and exploring other aspects of the art.

Of Goblins, Arches and Beryllium Spheres

2011-07-29T09:44:00.004-06:00

Hoodoos in Goblin Valley

Last week we took a family camping trip to Goblin Valley State Park. When I was in fourth grade, I gave a report on Emery County and learned that this place existed and had wanted to go there ever since. So in April we planned it out with some good friends and decided that July would be the right time to go. Apart from it’s being 95 degrees with no shade, it was a fantastic place. The campground is right in the hoodoos, with some tucked away in hidden alcoves.

Goblin Valley State Park

This has got to be the best place ever for playing capture-the-flag. While exploring the valley, just as you begin to think that every petrified smurf house looks just like the one you saw ten seconds ago, you turn a corner and something surprises you all over again. The shapes are just fun, and in the early morning or late evening light, you can really see some beautiful stuff. The farther east you go, the more fantastical the forms get as well. If you’re in the area, I highly recommend a visit.

Playing under Sand Dune Arch

We also drove out to Arches National Park and saw all the famous stuff. Unfortunately, it was still 95 and no shade, so the kids were miserable, until we hiked into Sand Dune Arch. This one is tucked away in the fins of the Fiery Furnace, so there was lots of shade, and very fine beach sand. It was time to kick off the shoes and play.

There’s bunch of canyons through the San Rafael Reef just outside of Goblin Valley. We explored part of Little Wild Horse Canyon, one of the most popular hikes in the area. It was just enough of a taste to want to go back and do the whole 8-mile loop.

Big Sky

By far the best thing was the stars at night. B and his friend N are working on the Astronomy merit badge, so we took binoculars and a telescope to see what we could see. I saw constellations I’ve never before been able to identify, the Milky Way stretching from horizon to horizon, some nebulae and I finally saw the Andromeda Galaxy. Speaking of galaxies, Goblin Valley is where they found a spare Beryllium Sphere in the movie Galaxy Quest.

Little Goblins

What I really came away with on this trip, apart from some great photos, was a sense of our place in time and space. When you think about the millions of years required to not only lay down the sediments and form the sandstone layers, but then to wear them all away again and reveal these amazing forms, it really puts things in perspective. Then to think of the millions, even billions of years represented in the night sky, it really gets my attention.That, and it's just fun to let the little goblins run and play.

Did I mention that I'm Charlie Smegging Brown? As we were leaving home and getting stuck in traffic, I started smelling acrid burning rubber smell, and saw smoke coming out of the car again. Still don't know what it was, but it's probably the Air Conditioner. We had to go home, unpack and reload my FIL's truck and go again, finally arriving at GV at about 10:30 that night. We had all the food for that night, too, so they had to improvise. To top it off, on an ice run, I noticed the window was open, so I tried to close it and it wouldn't. We spent the rest of the trip with duct tape holding the window shut, after I was somehow able to pull it out of the door at all. Charlie Brown once said, "everything I touch gets ruined!"

Photo Album:

Goblin Valley and Arches

The Volun-told Scouter

2011-07-19T11:24:00.003-06:00

I decided to do a Scouting blog. It's The Volun-told Scouter. I intend it to be primarily a reference for LDS Scouters and parents to help clear up some "traditions which are not correct." I've posted a couple of things about rank advancement, first how it works (a copy of the last post here), and second, what Eagle is all about. (Hint: the Eagle rank is not the objective, it's the process). If you're a Scouter, or a parent or just looking for information, I hope you find it useful.

Rank and File

2011-07-14T16:18:00.006-06:00

I recently came to the realization that of seven boys in my Scout patrol, five are the oldest in their families, making their parents first-timers. Each boy’s/family’s situation is different, as well, so I have to be cognizant of a thousand variables. I’ve been doing this for a year now, and feel like I’m finally figuring things out, after lots of research, planning, executing plans and training. I forget though, that I’m the only one doing those things, and I’m not necessarily the best at communicating intentions and expectations. Fortunately, there is now another 11YOS leader working with me in this grand endeavor.

It recently came up that parents were unclear on the whole advancement thing, what the ranks are, what they represent, how they’re earned, etc. I responded by mentioning that you must ‘unlearn what you have learned’ from Cub Scouts, because Boy Scouts is much different. Here’s a (rather long) excerpt from the email that I sent out:

Boy Scout Rank advancement is a method that Scouting utilizes for boys to both set goals of achievement, learn new skills and measure their progress. The ranks are, in order: Scout, Tenderfoot, Second Class, First Class, Star, Life and Eagle. Those are their names, but they could just as easily have been named Level 0, I, II...VI. As you are aware, one of the goals we have for each boy is that he earn his First Class in this first year of Scouting, in order to stack the deck toward his earning his Eagle before he becomes a Teacher/14yo and his time and interests are pulled in different directions. Everyone is on track to meet this objective.

The requirements for Tenderfoot, Second Class and First Class can all be worked on simultaneously, and this actually makes it easier in two ways.
Instead of having to teach skills in rank order, I can for example, teach the First Aid reqs for all three at once, saving time and consolidating effort
Regardless of when a boy's birthday occurs, he will get all the necessary instruction over the course of a year, irrespective of others' rank progress;
However, Ranks must still be earned in order (Tenderfoot first, etc). That means that even though a boy may have finished all the 1C requirements, but still has to finish one Tenderfoot item, he has to finish his Tenderfoot BEFORE he can receive his First Class. (Boards of Review ensure that this happens properly, as you can't have one without having finished all the requirements for a rank).

…

Please keep in mind that the advancement program is but one method, albeit the most visible, in the Scouting (and Church) arsenal to help you shape your sons into young men of character and fitness and who are good citizens, in addition to being worthy Melchizedek priesthood holders. We try to take a long view, and build the program around the question, "What kind of men do I want these boys to be in 15 years?" There are eight methods we use to get there:
Ideals (Oath/Law/Motto/Slogan)
Patrols
Advancement
Adult Association
Outdoor Activities
Personal Growth
Leadership Development
Uniforms
You'll notice that many of these overlap one another, but they are equal in importance. We should be just as concerned that our boys are developing into capable leaders and associating with adults of good character, etc. as we are that they eventually earn their Eagle award (for that matter, we should demand the same for our daughters).

That's as succinctly as I can put it. Part of my Wood Badge ticket, as I have mentioned, is to train the leaders of my local unit. I'm realizing that just as importantly, I have to teach the boys and their parents how this whole thing works. And it's not just first timers, either. That's actually the best case, as there are no bad habits to get rid of, as opposed to those for whom it may be the second or third time around, haven't heard any of this before andoperate under the assumption that 'getting' one's Eagle is the only objective. Not so, Eagle is but a means to an end.

Hopefully, by posting this, someone who needs it will stumble across this information and it will help them in their own program/situation. If you're the parent of a new Scout, read his Handbook. It's written so that he can accomplish the advancement objectives. If you know what's expected, you can help him much more effectively than by just leaving it to the leaders. It's a partnership between Scouts, their parents and their leaders.

Sunsets

2011-07-12T23:00:00.003-06:00

I took the opportunity to shoot some sunset shots tonight. As I was bringing B back from Tae Kwon Do, I noticed the clouds were amazing, and just had to make the attempt. So, after arriving home, I threw the dirty dishes in the diswasher, and B's dirty little brother in the bath, cleaned up a few more things and drove just over the speed limit to a nearby pond overlooking Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake. I spent about 45 minutes at the pond, shooting from three or four spots. Here are the results.

Sunsets

99 Shots, Seven Keepers

2011-07-11T21:31:00.008-06:00

One of my favorite photographic subjects is water on the landscape. Everyone loves a nice waterfall, and I've been meaning to shoot this stream for about three years now. Last Friday morning I finally made time for it, as it was my day off. So, I got up at the normal go-to-work time in order to take advantage of that low morning light. Lucky me, it was also overcast all morning, so that extended the shoot. It had rained the night before, so I wound up pretty wet, and there was poison-ivy galore to boot. I managed to avoid all of that. It was still full of spring runoff, what with Utah's very wet spring and long, cool meltdown this year. That meant that the whole stream was whitewater with very little in the way of calm spots, hence the very white river. If I could change one thing, I'd have shot with a polarizer. Long story short, I shot 99 images, and kept these seven.

From July 8, 2011

No Red Barchettas, but a Mustang Herd Will Do.

2011-06-28T16:40:00.006-06:00

I went to my first car show a couple of weeks ago. Fighter planes are more my thing, but, hey, speed is speed. I went to play with my Pentax K-7. (Between this shoot and Scout camp last week, I've decided that before I can justify acquiring better equipment, I really need to work on my basic technique.) Anyway, it was the day before Fathers' Day, and I just wanted to play with the light. I learned a bit about shooting in tree shadows, and that if half the subject is in that shadow and half is protruding into the sunlight, the best bet is to shoot the details, like hood ornaments and fenders. If it were overcast, whole-car shots would have been better. As it is, I got some nice images, and learned some things about making them better. Click on my Picasa link to the right to see the 15 or so images that I thought were keepers. (In spite of what I said about better equipment, I really do need some better software to process my RAW and HDR images.)

I'm Going to Work my Ticket if I Can

2011-05-20T09:03:00.020-06:00

I finished Wood Badge last Saturday, and I gottatellya, it's one of the most worthwhile things I've done in a very long time. I'm glad I made my ward send me. I'm really excited to start working my ticket. By the way, the Antelopes' rocket had a hang time of 13.01 seconds!

One of my items is to train my local unit leaders, because in Utah either (a) "I've been set apart and I don't need no stinkin' training," (b) "I was a Scout once and I don't need no stinkin' training" or (c) "the Church is going to abandon Scouts in three years anyway, so I don't need no stinkin' training." Actually, I don't see those attitudes in my ward, but no one is actully trained in what Scouting is all about. Did you know that Eagle is just a means to an end? And that that end isn't a drivier's lisence? Life after Eagle? Really? So I'm going to give 12 training sessions in Scout Committee meeting over the next year since they'll be a captive audience; I've even invited the cub and primary leaders, via the bishopric so they can't wiggle out of it.

Another item is to 'invite' all the groups in my ward to plan and carry out a conservation project, or even set a goal that everyone earn the world conservation award. Let the herding of cats begin!

My diversity/360 item is to bring the interfaith aspect home to the LDS troops in our area. Since nearly no scout in this area will ever see an interfaith worship service, but we're preparing them all to go into the world to be missionaries, I'll do a roundtable presenation on participatory worship traditions, like responsive readings, communal prayer and such, and I'll emphasize that it's to make our boys into more empathetic missionaries, who understand and respect the traditions of others, rather than dismiss them outright like I did. ("They say the same prayer over and over and over, and we do it the Right Way" instead of trying to understand what those traditions mean to those who love them.)

I gave myself a short-term goal as well, fully implementing the patrol method in my own efforts. Last week, we elected a new 11YO patrol leader. I now intend that he do more than just call and remind everyone about stuff; this week, everyone else recieved a new patrol resonsibility like APL, Scribe, Quartermaster, Grubmaster, etc. They even got job descriptions, so it's not just another patch to wear. We discussed that a patrol is a team, everyone is necessary and important; how a violin can't do the flute's job, or a point guard can't do the center's job, and lead actor needs the whole cast to carry the play. Everyone is unique and brings their personality and skills to the table, and because of this they're stronger. If I can get them to interalize this at 11, and guide them as they plan and work things out together, they'll be able to make a real difference later on.

Fifth is to be a better husband and dad. This one is the most important goal I have set for myself, and the most ambitious. Mostly because it requires the most personal change and effort. Totally worth it, though. I started by showing B how to make a woggle.

I've buit a Ticket Action Plan for each item that lays out the process and timeline I'll use, with definite milestones to reach, for each ticket item. Add to this that I plan to re-start my MBA in the fall, and I've got a busy couple of years ahead of me.

I've made it public. Now I'm committed. Or I should be...

Ding Dong! The witch is Dead!

2011-05-02T09:04:00.007-06:00

Years of patient intelligence work paid off with a brief firefight and a dead dirtbag last night. The FBI's 10 most wanted list entry for UBL was updated with "Deceased"!!! My initial thoughts:

Thank goodness it wasn’t done by airstrike, or Pred-strike. It gives us more credibility to confront him head-on than from 25,000 feet. When Abu Musab Al Zarqawi was killed in Iraq, we were called cowards for having killed him via F-16. Regardless of how Americans or other westerners view or disregard such characterizations, they have a lot of credibility among those for whom they are meant; having taken UBL out eye-to-eye with a bullet demonstrates that ours are not mere “joystick warriors,” but formidable, deadly, efficient fighters who will take the fight to the jihadists, and who will not stop. And, we will take every measure necessary to leave the surrounding populace and infrastructure intact. That will go a long way toward our credibility in the region.

Burial at sea: I understand the reasoning for it, and it goes further to our gaining credibility in the region. It accomplishes at least two things: (1) By treating the corpse in accordance with Muslim strictures (burial within 24 hours among others), it demonstrates to the man on the street that our beef was never with Islam nor Muslims, but with that man and his organization, and (2) it prevents a shrine or memorial being built up around a grave. But on a personal level, I wish his body were burned. In many Muslim traditions, such treatment would prevent his entering paradise (read Burton’s One Thousand and One Nights). The so-called birthers and truthers will go nuts for years, even when he doesn’t resurface - can you say, “grassy knoll,” but so what? And as far as conspiracies go, let’s nip this “Osama” vs. “Usama” thing in the bud: in Arabic, the O and U are often pronounced interchangeably, and since there are no written vowels in Arabic, using one or the other in an English translation is a matter of taste, (think of all the confusion over how to pronounce 'Qatar', or the US al Quaida/UK al Quaeda spellings) so it’s not some kind of “evil MSM plot” to distance the coincidental similarity of his name from that of the sitting US president.

Pakistan: Of course they knew; we didn’t give advance warning, because they’d have given him advance warning. Ours is a temperamental alliance of mistrust.

Kill vs. Capture: (1) do you really think that any American with a rifle would have let him survive? (2) would we really want this dirtbag tying up the courts for the next ten years and planning ops in the meantime?

Long-term, a shadowy umbrella organization has lost a figurehead, but he was the main head of a hydra. There will be a replacement with an agenda of revenge. At the same time, we may witness a large power vacuum as multiple sub-groups and individuals seek to take over the organization’s leadership and direction. We could hope for a debilitating schism within al Qaida and its splinter/daughter groups.

There’s my initial analysis of this, but mine is small potatoes. NPR’s coverage is very good, but I just thought I’d get these thoughts out of my head.

I can now say I have conquered the Teacups

2011-04-25T10:14:00.010-06:00

My father-in-law paid for his whole fan-damily to go to Disneyland last week, so we pulled the kids out of school, I ditched work and we spent three days in the happiest place on earth. And you know what, it kind of was! Oh, I also got to see an old-school radial-engined C-47 and a newfangled Qantas A380 landing at LAX, man that sucker is HUGE!

I got to put the new camera through its paces, at least somewhat, and I can say that I am quite happy with it. I loved my old Pentax 35mm SLR, but have loved the convenience of digital imaging more. Now, with the K-7, I have the best of both worlds. Sure, it's not a D3X, but it's still a powerful tool, and I'm looking forward to learning how to make the most of it.

K was more interested in seeing than in meeting, and got to see 7 princesses, including pictures with Cinderella and her absolute favorite, "Sweeping Booty." Alas, the line for Rapunzel was always 90 minutes long, so no joy there, but she did get a photo with Woody and Jessie, a very rare moment indeed. M went on his first roller coaster, Big Thunder Mountain, but he decided that his favorite ride was Silly Sympnony Swings. He couldn't stop shouting, "I LOVE THIS ONE! I LOVE THIS ONE! I LOVE THIS ONE!" He rode that one three times in 15 minutes. He didn't much care for the full-size Lightning McQueen and Mater, probably because they were just statues.

D loved Space Mountain, but got sick the last day there and couldn't do anything else. Besides fianlly being big enough (geez, he's over 4&1/2 feet now) for all rides, B's favorite moment was building his own personalized lightsabers (his training is now complete), and stuffing as many Lego bricks as possible into a pint-sized bucket. We also convinced him to do the Tower of Terror. The Lego store in Downtown Disney has a full-size giraffe and Darth Vader, and even sheriff Woody, all made entirely of Legos. I wished I was 11 again.

The wife and I just enjoyed watching the kids enjoy themselves. After meeting the princesses, for example, K gave mom the biggeset, most heartfelt hug ever, and nearly toppled her. Here's who the kids "met" (or at least got to see very close, anyway): Mickey, Minnie, Chip & Dale, Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Jessie, Green Army Man, Lightning McQueen and Mater, Jasmine, Belle, Tiana, Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, Darths Vader and Maul, Stormtroopers 1 and 2, Mace Windu and Nemo's whole school. I really enjoyed the architecture and tiny details everywhere, and the gardens, those make great photographic subjects. New Orleans Square is very cool, and one garden in Tomorrowland was made entirely of salad greens, if you're paying attention.

So, now that I'm 35, I've finally done both Disneyland and Walt Disney World. I think I enjoyed Anaheim more, if only because the kids were older and more able to enjoy things. I think they're ready to go back.

So am I.

Herding Cats, Swimming Upstream and Other Exercises in Futility

2011-04-19T08:07:00.013-06:00

After years of inactivity, this blog is changing gears. Kind of.

In two weeks I head off to Wood Badge, the BSA’s advanced adult leadership training course. I’m fairly excited to go; I didn’t wait to be ‘volun-told’ that I was had to do this, I simply said to my bishopric, “I’m going on such-and-such a date.” Why would I give up four days of vacation and two Saturdays? Because as has been pointed out by others far more knowledgable than myself, adult leader training is where most LDS Scout programs fail, and to paraphrase, ‘boys deserve trained leaders.’

Some background: about eight months ago, I was asked by my LDS bishop to work with the “11-year-old Scouts”. Outside LDS circles, this is just called the New Scout Patrol of a troop, but we Mormons have our own peculiarities to deal with, so that’s what it’s called. Another of those peculiarities is that only rarely (as 0.2% of the time) will you find an LDS adult involved in Scouts who actually volunteered to do it. (I recognize that some grow to love it, I'm talking in the initial stages.) I know I wouldn’t have volunteered to spend hours each week, one Saturday per month and a good chunk of my limited vacation with other peoples’ kids. So what we are is ‘volun-told’ leaders (that’s a word I learned in the Air Force, as in, salute smartly, respond with a crisp “Yes, Sir, may I have another!” and go do the job you were assigned).

So why the change of heart? I guess you could say I caught the vision, or the bug, or whatever, but I think I realized I don't even know that I don't know what I need to know. Right now, I have a group of seven eleven-year-olds, the Coyote Patrol. One of them is my own son, so that mixes up the dynamic quite a bit, but I digress. They run the gamut from the ‘all I do is Scouting’ type to the ‘I'd rather by playing hoops' type; the “What are we doing tonight!” type to the ‘I’m pretty sure I already know everything, so I’m not going to listen to anything you say’ type. Most are there to learn and have fun, though, so that gives me encouragement that the time I put into building a lesson on bugs or first aid or dutch-oven cooking has some kind of payoff for them..

As I researched this job (and it is a job, volunteer or volun-told, paid or unpaid), I learned a lot about how to do it right vs. how we Mormons actually carry it out. And I learned that how we actually do it is usually only ~half right. Attending Wood Badge is my attempt to get the information I need to actually carry out the way it's designed. The problem with this is inertia, and this is where the cats and salmon come into play. My fear is that after the training, (indeed, even after just researching online) that everyone will say, “that’s great, but we’re still going to do it the [wrong] way we’ve been doing it for the last 14 years.” Unfortunately, that means carrying forward the most convenient, detrimental and incorrect traditions.

I’ve learned that all I can do is provide the boys with the opportunity they need to succeed. If they take advantage of that opportunity, that’s great. If not, that’s their (and their parents’) decision. It’s not my job to give badges to them, but to give them opportunity to earn those awards. That's a subject for another post.

Top 10 of 2010

2010-12-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

These are what I believe represent my best work of this year.

Top 10 of 2010

Albums

2010-12-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

Some photo albums from my Picasa page (link at right)


HDR	Omaha, 2010	Wild Life

New Word

2009-04-18T21:08:00.008-06:00

This Earth Day, I've decided to honor those who have done so much to ~~impose draconian measures meant to drive us back to the Stone Age~~ make us aware of our fragile planet, with a new word that sets them far apart from and well above the masses. That new word is "Graint." It's a combination of "Green Saint".

So, we have Graint Al Gore, Graint Ed Begley, Jr., Graint Rachel Carson, and hundreds more! And unlike Saints, whose spiritual righteousness surpasses their own needs making a surplus available to the rest of us, Graints are superbly adept at making daily life even more difficult for the poorest of the poor; but from their ivory palaces they know just what's best for us commoners.

Graint has the added feature of an additional interpretation:
"Great (ain't)."

Can one post in four months even be considered 'sporadic'?

2009-03-19T14:46:00.006-06:00

I haven't become apolitical, I just haven't been "stimulust".

I've had quite a lot and very little on my plate of late. Since moving to Utah, my wife took a position with the University of Phoenix, and so I am starting my Master's degree with them. I get a substantial tuition discount for her status as an employee. For my part, however, I'm still among the ranks of the jobless civilians. I had a seasonal position at a local camera shop, that ended with Christmas day and I interviewed to be a meter reader - mostly as a way to get my foot into the door.

Anyhoo, the program I started is Master of Information Systems - seems like I need to add something more technological to my history/intelligence/analysis base. Maybe I should take some programming classes at the community college, too.

I also convinced my Mom and Dad to let me archive all their slides and stuff. I have the first box of 1,000 in front of me, they include two of my Dad's Scout Jamborees in the late 50s, my Mom's LDS mission in Rapid City in '65, and a tour she took of Europe with the BYU folk dancers in '64. This has been a really fun project. It's like time travel. For instance, one of the BSA Jamborees was in Colorado Springs - it's interesting to see the changes that have taken place on that landscape in the last ~50 years. It's a bit unnerving to see them as 20-year-olds or even teenagers. I'm also seeing a side of my grandparents I've never seen. I'm used to them being held up as almost superhuman examples of everything right and good, but now I'm seeing images of them being normal people. It's especially poignant since I never met my Grandpa, and only know him through reminiscences and formal portraits.

I've done the first 300 or so of the first K-worth of slides. Most of them are pretty straight-forward scans, but a few need major restorations done. My Epson scanner does a pretty good job of color restoration and dust removal (the integrated slide/negative scanner and restorative software are two of the reasons I bought this model six years go), but some still need a bit of touching up with Photoshop. For the most part, the Kodak has kept its colorfastness over the years, but there are commercial images that are really faded. (It seems like 40 years ago, you would go to the souvenir shop and buy a box of slides of all the prominent landmarks - a pretty good idea, as they would have been shot by professionals with better equipment than your average college tourist. I wonder if you now can buy a JPEG CD-ROM of all the great spots - and some obscure ones - in Venice? Now there's an idea!)

So I have plenty to keep me busy, between working for Mom and Dad for free, going back to school and trading places with my fabulous wife.

Population Explosion

2009-02-23T13:44:00.003-07:00

B decided that for his birthday he wanted mice. We tried our darndest to convince him that rats, and even hamsters, were better and smarter than mice, but he'd made up his mind. So on Valentine's Day we took him to the pet store and he got to pick out two. We found a clerk to open the female tank and she pulled out all the hiding places so he could see all 35+ of them scatter. That's when I noticed that one of those things was not like the others.

"That's a male," I said in my best deadpan voice. "Great," was the reply and she unceremoniously nabbed the little philanderer by the tail and yanked him out of his Valentine's love nest.

And so, a week later, "Lucy" is exhibiting nesting behavior, and she's much bigger than "Jane," who thankfully appears to still be a mouse virgin. B's going to be a daddy. PetCo said they'd take the babies off our hands (we have that in writing), but I'll bet they'll have their hands full with literally hundreds of mouslings in a couple of weeks.

Lucy is in the back

UPDATE: Turns out she wasn't pregnant, just fatter. The other one died mysteriously. Fortunately, they're cheap, 4 mice for the price of one hamster.

Finally!

2008-11-04T09:31:00.004-07:00

Today is the Day! I'm as happy as Rabbit when Winnie the Pooh was heave-hoed from his front door. I did not vote party line (my conscience won't let me) for two reasons: I'm not a party member and I believe the best balance is attained with a mixed bag - Checks and Balances and that kind of thing.

Bottom line, the unprecedented farce of a campaign is over and the rancor can go back underground (just below the surface where it festers best) until the lawyers are mobilized to challenge the voice of the ~~peons~~ people.

Duh of the Day Award

2008-11-03T16:32:00.008-07:00

CNN: Study links sexual content on TV to teen pregnancy.

Researchers at the nonprofit [RAND] organization found that adolescents with a high level of exposure to television shows with sexual content are twice as likely to get pregnant or impregnate someone as those who saw fewer programs of this kind over a period of three years.

And here I was thinking media programming was entirely benign and not influential at all on peoples' - especially teenagers' - behavior.
At least that's what they keep telling us -- "There's no evidence that: 'TV influences kids' behavior'; 'violent video games influence kids' behavior'; 'sexy lyrics and music videos influence kids' behavior'" Excepting of course flashy ads peddling wares/telling kids what to wear, what to eat, what to drink, what to think (the more you know) how to smell, whom to hang out with (not people who say whom) what's cool...those are influential, but not the virtuous programs with all the pretty stars and preachy messages and political baggage and stuff.

And then there's this gold nugget:

The study also found that adolescents living in a two-parent household had a lower probability of pregnancy [read: adolescent sexual activity].

Really? Two parents? A mom and a dad? Imagine my feigned surprise. Actually, the number 2 isn't endowed with a descriptor (mom/dad, mom/mom, dad/dad, mom/first cousin, dad/gazelle) they all seem to be on pretty equal footing in the article.

The Biggest Losers

2008-10-23T15:22:00.010-06:00

My good friend El Cartoonista absolutely nailed the Big Bank Executives' Bailout with this timely, seasonal and astutely apropos allusion:

My one editorial note here is that the bowl should read: Even Bigger Gov't (some cartoonist somewhere simply must do a McDonald's/Supersize comparison).

Señor Dangriga says, AMEND THIS!

2008-10-21T13:07:00.018-06:00

Now that I’m a Utah resident again, I thought I’d get a bit of last-minute local politics familiarization. Utah has five (5) state constitutional amendments on the ballot this November. Now, in my experience, state constitutional amendments are typically NOT constitutional issues (google Florida class size amendment or high-speed rail amendment for two examples). Unlike Florida or Colorado however, the amendments on the Utah ballot intend to change the actual constitution, not to write mere statutes into the chief governing document of the land. As a public service, here are the Utah amendments, along with my two cents.

Anyone else smell that?

Amendment A deals with gubernatorial succession:

Shall the Utah Constitution be amended to:

modify and clarify how a vacancy in the office of Governor is filled;
define when a vacancy occurs in the offices of Governor and Lieutenant Governor;
modify the term of office of a person filling a vacancy in the office of Governor or Lieutenant Governor;
modify and clarify the exercise of the powers of Governor when the Governor is temporarily disabled;
modify and clarify how the disability of a Governor is determined;
modify how a vacancy in the office of Lieutenant Governor is filled; and
establish a process for determining the disability of a Lieutenant Governor?

This looks to me like an attempt by the legislature (read: the secret combination known as Eagle Forum) to control the position of Lieutenant Governor - they want take full control over who is appointed in the absence of an LG. This amendment is an end-run around the constitution. It’s no secret that the good ‘ol boy network had it in for Olene Walker when Leavitt went to Washington, probably because even though she was a very good, thoughtful, Moderate administrator, she didn’t have what it takes to govern in Utah (i.e. a penis). If Huntsman follows in Leavitt’s footsteps, (unlikely, as Republican support from Utah is kind of like support from your jock strap -- it’s assumed, but it smells) the legislature wants to be able to handpick the next governor. If you don't read any others, click and read Amendment A above.

SD says NO on A.

Amendment B deals with wise use of taxes levied on extracting diminishing natural resources:

Shall the Utah Constitution be amended to allow a permanent state trust fund to include money or other assets given to the trust fund under any provision of law?

Today, the constitution only allows those monies collected from tobacco settlements to go into this permenant trust fund, fairly short-sighted. This amendment will ~~allow~~ force the legislature to be better stewards of public funds—but expect last-minute opposition from the Educational Establishment (which I’m considering joining, by the way, as my post-military career).

SD says YES on B.

Amendment C is just a date change, whose time, quite frankly, came long ago:

Shall the Utah Constitution be amended to:

change the start of the Legislature's annual general session from the third Monday in January to the fourth Monday in January; and
exclude federal holidays from the calculation of the 45-day limit on annual general sessions of the Legislature?

This amendment only pushes the start of the session back a week in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. About time.

SD says YES on C.

Amendment D is nothing more than an exercise in wordsmithing:

Shall the Utah Constitution be amended to clarify that the time when the Legislature is required to divide the state into congressional, legislative, and other districts is no later than the annual general session following the Legislature's receipt of the federal census results?

The Constitution already says what they're amending it to say. All they're doing is adding some words. This is a document for the people of the State of Utah, not the exclusive purview of legislators and lawyers. Keep it simple.

SD says NO on D.

Amendment E proposes unwise investing:

Shall the Utah Constitution be amended to authorize the state to invest money in the newly issued stock or bonds of private companies if the money comes from the State School Fund or from land granted to the state by the federal government, as an exception to a general rule prohibiting those investments?

No, No and No. This one smacks of nepotism, cronyism, favoritism and lots of other corruption-isms. At the very least, it opens a Pandora's box for ~~weak-minded fools~~ legislators (cough-Eagle Forum-cough) to abuse power and offer extras and favors to complicity corrupt companies.

SD says, "Awwww, HELL NO!" (with apologies to Will Smith) on E.

There you go, Señor Dangriga’s analysis of the Utah constitutional amendment proposals for this November. If you're a Utah voter, you need to read each linked pdf file above and see what the proposed changes are. Constitutions allow for amending, but only if the PEOPLE say so, regardless of what the know-it-alls in the state house tell us we want.

Take a walk

2008-10-20T12:21:00.002-06:00

We went for a drive and a walk up Big Cottonwood Canyon, at Brighton ski area and Silver Lake.

Sofia the escape artist

2008-10-15T17:48:00.004-06:00

A former co-worker of mine from Colorado Springs sent me this clip yesterday, as she is well acquainted with our beagle, Violet. I think she (the dog) is from the same litter as this little Houdini.

2008-10-08T16:48:00.002-06:00

A few weeks before loading up and heading out, I decided that I'd get at least some enjoyment out of having wired the basement for a home theater last year. So, I moved my old Prologic speakers and dying analog TV down there, hooked everything together and watched all 12 hours of Lord of the Rings, Special Edition - it took a week. Since I didn't have any money for a real HD/5.1 system, that's the best I could do. Anyway, it was satisfying, and I got to enjoy what I think is the second best film (after Pixar's The Incredibles, and if you count all three parts as one film) of the decade one last time before boxing it up. Then I found this:

Every movie should be just like this. Every overly complex plot could be circumvented with a "designated BS Flag waver". "Uh, hold on, did you really think this through, or are you just building an over convoluted plot device to fill the next two hours?" Just about every movie would be over in under two minutes if only they would do the simple solution, or point out the obvious (insert joke about Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks).

How it Should Have Ended.com has given the same treatment to some really stellar fims. I especially liked Spiderman 3 condensed to under seven minutes. "You are so fired."

Uteños

2008-10-05T08:28:00.003-06:00

Instead of gathering around the PC to watch the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints yesterday, we piled in the cars and made our final drive from Colorado Springs to Utah. 600+ miles in a little under 12 hours. It's always like that, first, we all get in the car, then we stop for gas (20 minutes), then we drive through town (20 minutes). It always seems to take an hour to get to the freeway from our driveway. Of course, since M is in the last stages of potty training, we added a few more adventurous stops. It seemed to take as long to leave Colorado as to cross Wyoming, especially doing musical chairs with four kids and three cars. That's why they sell portable DVD players to people like me.

Here's how I'd shake things up a bit

2008-09-24T21:41:00.014-06:00

For a while now, I've been having some unorthodox thoughts about the semiannual General Conferences of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (you know, those freaky Mormons). Every six months, the faithful gather in Salt Lake City, or at their respective satellite dish-equipped chapels across the globe, or their living rooms, or more recently, around their PCs (and yes, even Macs) to listen to and be edified by those whom we acknowledge as Prophets, in the same vein as Moses, Noah, Elijah and Peter. The next one is in about 10 days. If you're not stoked, you should be.

Trouble is, with over 13 million members worldwide and counting, only a little over 5 million live in the good 'ol USA¹. Most of those speak English, as do most members in the UK, Canada, Australia & New Zealand. That leaves the bulk of the remaining 8 million 'Mormones' speaking something other than English as a native tongue. Many of the General Authorities come from this latter group, but have to write and deliver their remarks in a foreign language (American).

Church demographics being what they are, I propose that any GA whose native language is not English prepare and deliver his address in his native tongue. We Americans can then wait for the translation, just like all the Colombian, Guatemalan, French, Italian, German, Japanese, Taiwanese, Philippino, and Elvish members have been doing since Philo T. Farnsworth invented the TV. Not only do they have to wait for the satellite feed, they also must wait for the translator, and they never hear the Prophet speak in his own voice, let alone their compatriots (and even if they do, they still have to wait for the translation). Ironic that the German Saints could listen to an Apostle in real-time and in his own voice, but they can't due to an English-only tradition - and tradition is all it is.

I think this would be GREAT! Oh, sure there would be complainers ("English was good enough for Brother Joseph, it had oughtta be good enough for you! Anything else is just plain iggnernt."), and some logistical problems to solve, but that could be dealt with before the next conference in April. Think about the outpouring of the Spirit that would settle over Argentina or Korea.

I propose the same thing for all spoken prayers - the speaker should pray in his own language. Whaddya think?

1 mormonhaven.com -- Now, that's a hockey stick!

Packin' up and movin' out

2008-09-12T11:20:00.005-06:00

Well, I've been a civilian going on four months now. Still looking for work, but I'll be doing it in the land of my fathers. We decided to list the house and move back (begin ominous-sounding voice)
BEHIND THE ZION CURTAIN(end ominous-ness) of Utah. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know that this is not a decision reached lightly or hastily, as I've spent the last several years in the real world. I told a history professor of mine:

Sadly, we're selling the house in Colorado and moving back to Utah. Actually, I like to say that everyone from Utah should go somewhere else, leave for about 2-3 years, and missions DON'T count. Go somewhere in the "mission field" (I've found that the locals call that, "Home") where the grocery store has a wine aisle and it's not a big deal. Except to you. Then, If you can stomach the sanctimony, move back and make Utah a better place. Guess I'm taking my own medicine.

So after the kids finish their first term at school, we're loading up the house and moving back to where "we never have troubles, at least very few." Get ready, Utah, I'm comin' home.

The Talk

2008-05-07T20:37:00.004-06:00

So I'm watching TV with B today, and it's the History Channel's Modern Marvels about where pork comes from. Cut to a scene showing how sows are artificially inseminated, and B, being 8, realizes that there's something weird going on and asks, "What are they doing with that pig's butt?"

Well, I guess now is as good a time as any.

So I took him downstairs and pulled up diagrams on wikipedia and talked him through the mechanics of sex: correct names, what goes where, how people have eggs, too (not just birds), how men have little sperm factories, but his aren't in production--yet. When it was all done, I said, "little more of an answer than you were looking for, huh?" And he said, "Uh-huh". Funny thing was, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be, since he kind of initiated the conversation. After all, pigs do it, bees do it, birds do it...

And I did answer his question: they were making piggies, and that wasn't the pig's butt.

A little something new

2008-05-02T00:19:00.004-06:00

Today, I changed the name of the site just a smidge and added a new graphic to illustrate where I stand: not at the poles where politicians' careers are made and destroyed and the most damage is inflicted on society at large, not in the parties, but firmly planted in the purple middle majority.

A song for Earth Day

2008-04-21T16:04:00.013-06:00

Every Leaf is Sacred
To the tune of Monty Python's

"Every Sperm is Sacred"

HEMP-CLAD MAN:
There are Hunters around,
There are Bikers.
There are Loggers and Miners and then,
There's also Big Oil Executives, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm an Environment Activist,
Since before Rachel Carson was born.
And the one thing they say 'bout Green Zealots:
They'll deny you your right to be warm!

You don't have to be a rich lib'ral,
You don't need a critical brain.
You don't have to have your own thoughts 'cause,
Man-made Warming is True just the same!

Because

Ev'ry leaf is sacred.
Ev'ry rock is great.
If carbon's exploited,
Al Gore gets irate.

CHILDREN:
Ev'ry owl is holy.
Ev'ry mouse is great.
If a seal gets wasted,
Greenpeace gets irate.

GIRL:
Let the Climate Skeptics
Claim, "No Solid Proof!"
We've computer models to
Manipulate the truth.

CHILDREN:
Ev'ry leaf is sacred.
Ev'ry rock is good.
We'll force carbon-neutral
On your neighbourhood.

TIE-DYED WOMAN:
Pay your green indulgence,
To expunge your guilt,
Knowing carbon offsets bought
The card house Al Gore built.

MEN:
Dubious corn-based fuels,
Less food, more disease.
WOMEN:
We're not satisfied 'til...
CHILDREN:
... There's no one left to sneeze!

LAB-COATED IPCC SCIENTIST:
Ev'ry leaf is sacred.
GRADUATE STUDENTS:
Ev'ry stone is great.
UNDERGRADS:
Complicit press men parrot
PRIMARY SCHOOL KIDS:
The stories we create!

CHILDREN
Scientific consensus,
If the price is right.
FUNERAL CORTEGE
Al needs all your money.
MOUNRER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

TV ANCHORMAN:
Lumberjacks and Farmers,
They defile the ground;
GREENPEACE'S BOAT, RAINBOW WARRIOR:
A carbon footprint's worse than
Hot sunshine beating down.

EVERYONE:
Ev'ry leaf is sacred.
Ev'ry rock is great.
If carbon's exploited
Al Gore gets irate.

Ev'ry owl is holy,
Ev'ry mouse is great.
If a seal gets wasted,
Greenpeace gets iraaaaaaaaate!

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Vladi Lennin!

Not my words,

2008-04-16T12:59:00.001-06:00

But my opinion, nonetheless. Burt Prelutsky discusses why childishly sitting out the election is an exercise in self-inflicted irrelevancy. His conclusion:

"The idea of conservatives sitting out the November election so that one of the two awful liberals will wind up in the Oval Office, commander in chief of the best and the most powerful nation on earth, doesn't strike me as being politically astute. Frankly, I regard it as smarmy, ruthless and cynical. One of my brighter readers summed it up very neatly, suggesting it was like wishing cancer on a loved one as a way to make them stop smoking."

He sums it up best with, "'Better an Imperfect Republican Than a Perfect Socialist."

Thoughts on General Conference

2008-04-05T22:08:00.006-06:00

Priesthood meeting opening prayer: while I appreciate all prayers on behalf of my counterparts in Iraq and Afghanistan, I have to wonder what the Chilean Saints think of a gringo offering a prayer for the armed forces. Is it meant for the Colombian Army and South African Air Force, as well as the US military? I take it to be a prayer for soldiers of all nationalities to serve their nations honorably - after all, people in Nigeria are listening and must say "Amen" as well. I just hope too many people don't think it's a prayer for US soldiers to be invincible.

Favorite talk: Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's unique POV on Saturday Morning; he made it clear that we need not be a mass of monolithic group-thinkers. That makes me feel better after vehemently disagreeing with what I saw people commenting on in the Deseret News (read: parroting Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and even fellow Mormon Glenn Beck's xenophobic talking points) on Friday. I have a hunch that the Jeffrey Jones in the article is LDS.

And on the lighter side, Elder Robert D. Hales and President Uchtdorf are both fighter pilots (Hales flew F-100s, Uchtdorf was F-4s before joining Lufthansa). I wonder if they get together and tell, "there I was, 500 feet and 500 knots" stories.

(not my pictures)

Oh, Gs

2008-04-03T18:19:00.005-06:00

I saw one of these today.

Let's see, advanced stealth technology - check.
Sustained supersonic flight - check.
Vectored thrust - check.

F-22 Raptor, the future of air combat. And it actually looked kind of small next to the four F-15Es parked beside it.

Here it is in action. After a rather tame start, this clip gets really interesting at about 2:35.

Booze Bill passes

2008-03-19T09:55:00.003-06:00

Did someone say unintended consequences? Funny how that wasn't mentioned in the news until after the bill passed yesterday. A funny thing happened in New Mexico after a similar law passed several years ago though: incidents climbed 29%, according to KRCC's Eric Whitney. But Sen Veiga (D-Denver) didn't happen to see any negative reports regarding the more liberal availability of alcohol. (I wonder if staffers were told to filter for those. No, I'm not a conspiracy nut — Buzz Aldrin did, in fact, walk on the moon — I just don't trust politicians to give us the Paul Harvey treatment). The audio is about three or four minutes, and is well worth listening to.

At least the good Senator finally stated that this is great for the state coffers. It got me to thinking, since I'm not contributing to the state via Sin Taxes, what taxes do I pay? It occurred to me that it's easier to list those I don't pay. Let's see, for the next couple of months until I leave Active Duty, I'm a Texas resident, so I don't pay state income taxes (Texas is one of those great states that doesn't punish you for working there). Also, I have a good CPA, so I get all my Federal income taxes back. Other than that, I pay all the same Social Security tax, Medicare/Medicaid tax, sales tax, communications taxes, gasoline taxes, property taxes, and various "fees" as anyone else, including illegal immigrants.

Marshall law

2008-03-12T08:14:00.002-06:00

Here's how to fix Iraq: the first step is to end all US-granted reconstruction contracts (i.e. Haliburton). Second, keep pouring money into reconstruction, but as Financial Aid, to be distributed by the Iraqi government as they see fit. My feeling is that if we no longer provide gravy train contracts to American companies and instead let the Iraqis determine what and who is best for them, it will take nearly all the wind out of the sails of the insurgents. Especially if Iraqi, Jordanian, Saudi and other regional firms get those contracts to rebuild. If the Iraqi government wants the bin Laden construction company to build their schools and hospitals, they should be able to make that determination, and not watch as overpaid American firms milk that camel and skim all the fat for as long as they possibly can.

Think about it: how long does it take an American company to fix a road here? It's taking two years just to build an overpass here in Colorado Springs, probably 18 months longer than it really should. So, of course that American business model 'ethic' (exploit government contracts for as long as possible) has gone with those companies to Baghdad. I say free all that money up for the Iraqis to use as they think best, and watch them do a better job, and do it faster, than Haliburton et al. They know what they need, and aren't constrained by a we-know-what's-best-for-you mentality trying to impose a foreign system on an entire nation.

Will there be corruption? Well, we are talking about politicians here; they're not any different from our own. But by allowing Iraqis the opportunity to determine their own future instead of stand on the sidelines of DoD-awarded contracts, they'll take a bigger stake in bettering their future, and I think that AQI attacks against reconstruction projects might just cease.

The third step is to reduce the US security footprint (especially mercenary firms like Blackwater, also a nickname for a very nasty form of malaria - how apropos). Iraqi security won't step up to the plate until they're forced to, and that means not having a US crutch around to lean on as much. The surge has worked. In order to keep it that way, Iraqi security services need to make themselves visible as a force to be reckoned with, while assuring the civil population that they are public servants and not masters.

The key to all of this is giving the Iraqis the right tools to do the job, and all the credit for everything good that happens.

I don't understand

2008-03-11T14:38:00.005-06:00

Elliot Spitzer, the governor of New York, is on the grill for buying high-end prostitutes, and is on the verge of watching his political career get flushed down the toilet over infidelity to his wife...

but,

Mitt Romney is mocked and pushed aside in part for being 'too nice, too squeaky clean' and having the audacity to live up to the commitments he made to his wife over thirty years ago (out of the race, albeit with his political career intact).

Alternately, men like Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant, JFK, et.al can have multiple conquests, and leave who knows how many illegitimate children in the wake yet be lionized in the press and popular culture...

but,

it's a crime to take financial and moral responsibility for multiple partners and any ensuing offspring, i.e. polygamy (defined by me as freely entered consensual relationships between ADULTS - just so no one thinks I'm trying to justify a slimeball like Warren Jeffs, nor am I in any hurry to enter into such an arrangement).

Someone please 'splain, 'cause I'm confused.

Added, 1700: I think I figured out the answer to the first question. We love to see the rich, famous and powerful fall down - and fall hard - and a Romney presidency would offer no such schadenfreude.

Saber Rattling (disponible en Español)

2008-03-06T23:16:00.013-07:00

Over the weekend, the Colombian Army pulled off an astounding operation that eliminated one of the top FARC commanders. Predictably, the news is full of international repercussions and tired rhetoric from leftist governments and activists, so I'll just post my own opinion of the matter here (en Español enseguida).

If it were not Raul Reyes who had been killed, Chavez would not be posturing so much. If it had been a second – or third – tier leader of some front, it would not have been as big a deal. But Chavez’ ‘Bolivarian Revolution’ depends (where there aren’t leftists in power) on proxy wars in his neighboring countries. The reported laptop containing evidence of links (300 million of them) between the FARC and Chavez (and Correa) demonstrates that the regional instability comes from Colombia’s neighbors.

While the FARC operate with impunity in neighboring countries, planning and executing operations against peasants and other fellow Colombians, Colombia decided not to remain impotent over two kilometers. They acted and left, and the FARC suffered a huge loss. If Ecuador and Venezuela want stability in the region, it is up to them to cease permitting the FARC to operate without borders.

But we know that the ‘revolution’ is more important than stability or liberty. Viva Colombia!

Si no fuera Raúl Reyes el muerto, Chávez no hubiera hecho tanto ruido. Si fuera una segunda – aún tercera – cabecilla de alguna frente, no fuera cosa grande. Pero la ‘revolucion Bolivariano’ de Chávez depende (en las partes dónde no hayan izquierdistas en poder) de guerras por poderes en países vecindarios. La dicha computadora ‘laptop’ que contiene evidencia de los vínculos (300 millones de vínculos) entre las Farc y Chávez (y Correa) demuestra que la instabilidad en Colombia viene de sus vecinos.

Mientras las Farc operan con impunidad en los países vecindarios, planeando y ejecutando operaciones contra los campesinos y otros paisanos colombianos, Colombia decidió no quedarse impotente sólo por dos kilometros. Actuaron, y salieron y las Farc sufrieron una pérdida enorme. Si Ecuador y Venezuela quieren la estabilidad de la región, depende de ellos no permitir que las Farc operan sin fronteras.

Pero ya se sabe que la revolución es más importante que la estabilidad y la libertad. ¡Viva Colombia!

P.S. The United States Air Force is sending flood relief to Ecuador, in spite of the rhetoric from president Correa. I guess we're only evil until we're needed. (La Fuerza Aérea EEUU manda ayuda para diluvios al Ecuador, a pesar de las palabras del presidente Correa. Supongo que sólo somos malvados hasta que nos nececitan.) Final link: Chavez threatens to shoot himself in the foot (Chávez hace amenanzas de tirarse al pie).

Update: (Saturday, March 8 2008) Two in one week, this one taken out by one of his own!

And here I thought it was just Utah

2008-03-06T09:31:00.007-07:00

Unlike Utah, Colorado liquor stores (and everywhere else too, for that matter) are private retail enterprises, not a state-run monopoly.

"A bill [SB-082] has been introduced for the 2008 Colorado legislative session that would make Colorado the 35th state to permit liquor sales on Sundays. Another bill is in the works that would greatly expand what some grocery stores can stock."^[1]

Sen. Jennifer Veiga, D-Denver, "introduced SB-082 earlier this month, citing consumer convenience^[2]". No, really! She said in effect that, "it’s too inconvenient for people to have to plan ahead, so we should change the law." That’s a pathetic argument to make. Listen to this KRCC.org story and hear it for yourself. I wish these professional busybodies we call legislators had the decency to be honest up front. Just come right out and say that you’re looking for more state revenue, and Sunday liquor sales is a step in that direction.

Tellingly, the retailers weren’t really clamoring for this bill (they rejected a similar measure three years ago), they're just grudgingly supporting it in the face of a looming second bill allowing grocery stores to sell full-strength beer and wine. In other words, they only support it because the second bill allows for competition they haven’t faced before. Sunday has been their only day off, why give that up? Now, with new competition they’ll have to sink or swim in a new pool – they don’t like that idea. Plus, the money’s good.

I’ll be the first to say that you can’t really make the argument for the current situation that Sunday is a day of rest, without at least acknowledging in the same fashion a day of rest from sundown Friday through 12:00 Monday morning. If you’re accommodating Christians, ya gotta accommodate Jews, Muslims and Seventh-day Adventists, too. So, from a ‘tolerance’ perspective, this thing actually makes more sense than the asinine convenience argument.

As far as the arguments made by liquor retailers and grocery store chains competing for full-strength beer and wine sales, I don’t give a smeg. Neither one is competing for my dollars, so I don’t care which of them wins out. What does matter is this: a new law, with little going for it practically and little real support (unless Colorado has a bigger alcohol problem than it would like to admit), will likely impose a slew of unintended consequences (bad ones) on Colorado in the name of Convenience (stores).

At least it’s not just my native state of Utah that has these quaint laws on the books. Take a look through the RMN comments, plenty of, ‘we have to get with it if we want to be modern blahbity blah blah…’ (Remember, change for its own sake is Good. Change, change, change, change, change. Change creates the illusion of Progress.)

The answer to any question is always – always – follow the money.

[1] [2] Steamboat Pilot
Rocky Mountain News: Sunday Liquor Story

Just try not to laugh!

2008-02-21T20:48:00.002-07:00

I had a rat that would do that.

Creepy Crawly Birthday

2008-02-19T22:01:00.011-07:00

B. had a birthday party last weekend, and he decided to go with a slithery theme. For some reason, he's always bringing home library books about snakes, spiders, sharks and other such icky critters, so we found Mountain Aire Reptile Rescue, a local non-profit that does birthday parties among its publicity and education outreach efforts. They were great, bringing into my house the following:

A 6-foot Nile monitor (2/3rds of which is whip-like tail)
Four Australian bearded dragons
Three tortoises including two Red-footed tortoises
Corn snakes of many colors
A California rosy boa, (I had absolutely no idea that there are boas endemic to North America, and evidently they make good pet snakes, if you're into that kind of thing, which B. might be...)
Ball python
Blue-tongued skink
Two Leopard geckos, one yellow/black and one albino
A Duméril boa from Madagascar
And lots of other snakes

He started out small, with the smaller dragons and finished big with the monitor, with plenty of snakes in between. Each time he pulled out another critter, the kids got audibly more and more excited, until finally, out came the monitor and they all yelled, "WOOOAAHHHHHH!". You could obviously tell that this guy loved working with reptiles, and his enthusiasm bled over to all the kids there. Most of them were crawling all over each other to see each animal, and touch them, including the ball python, tortoises and especially the monitor. Each time a new lizard came out, the kids were asked "what is this one?" and they'd invariably answer "A Komodo Dragon!"

My mother-in-law, who has been in town helping with very sick smaller kids, even braved the temporary herpetarium, much to her own surprise. D. and M. were both in attendance and loved every minute of it.

The invitation stated, "Hands-on reptile experience provided by Mountain Aire Reptile Rescue, hand sanitizer provided by us." And the best part? Because MARRs is a non-profit, we get to write off the birthday party next year! Actually, it's hard to tell who had more fun, the kids or the adults.

Why I'm independent (or Moderate) - part deux

2008-02-13T08:37:00.005-07:00

Orson Scott Card (Ender's Game) on the 'cream of the electable crap':

"Here's the source of our problems: The best candidates rarely run because they are too moderate to be chosen by either party.

"And the parties have now become so dominated by their lunatic fringes that you have to accept an insane melange of doctrines in order to be considered a true conservative or a real progressive...The only way to be genuinely ideologically pure on either side is to switch your brain off and never have a thought of your own. Because even a cursory effort to educate yourself on any of these issues will make it clear that both parties are wholly or partly wrong on everything.

"How can a person who is honest, intelligent, and educated possibly hold every single 'correct' position of either party?"

Romney’s Out, but the question of Mormons in Politics isn’t

2008-02-12T18:49:00.001-07:00

A story on NPR’s Morning Edition got me going today. Apparently, we Mormons have misjudged our neighbors: many of them still don’t like us.

Imagine my surprise.

I’m not as hung up on the Mormon/Christian question as many are. I really couldn’t care less if most Christians don’t think we Mormons are (different) Christians, too. In fact, I prefer it that way. I don’t need to be theologically accepted by unnamed, narrow-minded, faceless masses in order to be spiritually validated (after all, there area plenty of preachy, self-righteous, narrow-minded, Mormons I don't care for out there anyway). I have the Holy Ghost for validation of my faith.

However, most of the people I live and work with are surprised when they learn that I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. After all, I listen to Rush (not Limbaugh), and find Monty Python laugh-out-loud funny – two characteristics not typically associated with us somber, sober Mormons. In my experience, it’s those who don’t know their Mormon neighbors (the fault of the Mormon neighbors, me included) who fear them. Once they know us on an individual level, we become good friends.

There are marked theological differences between the two groups that tend toward feelings of animosity. If you ask a Mormon, modern Christianity is the product of centuries, millennia even, of the machinations of mankind rationalizing behavior and ambition with scripture. Yes, there have been many honest attempts to get back to basics, but these reformers all run into the same obstacle – they can’t seem to part with the Nicene Creed.

Mormonism is different in that we believe that God bypassed all the incorrect learning of past centuries and called a new prophet through whom He could work. Here’s a primary difference between the two: the Nicene Creed was an attempt among various sects to establish a consensus for orthodox belief and determine heretical ones. Mormon belief is dictated (as it was in the early Church) by God himself through His chosen mouthpiece. “Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secrets to His servants, the prophets.” (Amos 3:7). I understand how that can be offensive to many.

The Creed states that the Son is “…begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father.” I read that as internally contradictory and that as a result, Jesus must have prayed to himself. Contrast it with “…I saw two Personages…” The Mormon doctrine of God, Jesus and Holy Ghost being three individuals has ample evidence in scripture. For instance, when He was baptized, the Father spoke from Heaven and the Holy Ghost was present in the form of a dove – three individuals. And so, we have the ancient/traditional pitted against the new and weirdly unorthodox. Yeah, frightening, isn’t it?

As far as Jesus and Lucifer being brothers, I’ll refer you to “Jeopardy” Champion Ken Jennings’ lucid explanation of that relatively simple LDS doctrine:

“The truth, Huck, is that Mormons believe that God is the Father of us all, which does, I guess, in some sense, make Jesus and Satan brothers. And by the same logic, we also believe that Moses and Orville Redenbacher and Attila the Hun and Neil Diamond are brothers. Happy now?”

People also like to get hung up over the doctrine (not an obscure one, as many have incorrectly stated) that we can inherit all the Father’s characteristics and attributes and be like Him, so long as we accept the saving sacrifice of Jesus Christ and actually do what He told us to do – in short, we can be gods one day (As man now is, God once was, as God now is, man may become). For some reason, Creedal Christians don’t like the idea that ordinary people can be exactly like our Father in Heaven, but it sure beats plucking harps for eternity - I don’t even like harps. I think God would get sick of everyone singing about how great He is all the time, He’s a bit humble for that. But I’d sure like to create a world after the manner of a Spaceman Spiff adventure – complete with dinosaurs.

My point here is to explain why I’m not concerned that people don’t accept us for our beliefs. I’m comfortable with them, and if I weren’t, I’d be an agnostic or something. Which is not to say I don’t question – oh, lately I’ve had more questions than answers, but there are a few fundamentals I can be sure of, and after that, it’s a matter of study and waiting for answers.

The answers come.

Asking questions is the basis of this faith. Had Joseph Smith not asked a question, we’d not be having this discussion of religion and politics today.

Why I'm an Independent

2008-02-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

I didn't vote on Super Tuesday, as I'm a Texas resident for the next couple of months (one of the benefits of Active Duty military service is choosing your state of taxation), and I don't know where I'll be in November, so I haven't registered in Colorado. Having said that, I like John McCain for President. I guess that means I'm not as conservative as I "should" be, but you know what? "Moderation in all things." For one thing, I tend to agree with Orson Scott Card on illegal immigration. For another thing, I've liked him ever since he put the brakes on suspect Air Force/Boeing sweetheart lease deals for acquiring new refueling aircraft. I hope Sen. Joe Lieberman - (I) Connecticut, becomes his running mate.

Also, I don't listen to the shrill voices of talk radio. I did for about a year, and then realized they were more useless than my nipples. They're as closed-minded as anyone from the anti-war or ultra-green groups (Sean Hannity is one of the worst, he talks to many of his guests the way a 'Christian' preacher shouts down Mormon missionaries).

Here's why I lean toward Senator McCain: John McCain has a stellar record of working well with others. All his more controversial (to ultra-conservative types) achievements reflect this. He's skilled at seeking out voices of moderation and reaching satisfactory compromises that leave the extremists of both sides unhappy ("alienating the base," in Conservative lingo). I believe that people want a leader who can make those kinds of decisions. That's the mark of a good politician, and leadership. He's not a my-way-or-no-way Party guy: he knows that in politics, a good compromise is not a sellout, as the greens or the Mexican-haters would say, but a smart, workable solution that takes care of 80% of the people. We would not have a Constitution, were it not for controversial and difficult compromises.

I understand that the Republican Party (of which I am not a member) has a hard time accepting someone who doesn't agree with them 100% on everything all the time, but that only means that the Republican Party's (and the Democratic Party, for that matter) 'base' cannot abide decisions that are an 80% solution for 80% of the people - people like me. In fact, for people like Focus on the Family's James Dobson to say they won't vote for a president if McCain is the nominee is to hand victory to the other side (which I can't abide) much as the opposition in Venezuela gave absolute power to Hugo Chavez by boycotting their last election.

Sen. McCain doesn't dance to the extremist (green, religious or what-have-you) special interest groups' fiddles, and isn't that what we keep saying we want?

PS: That said, I do like Gov Romney: he or Sen McCain would do well as the Party's nominee. I also think that Gov Huckabee's divisive use of religion - and the religious - is despicable and has served to uncover an ugly truth about the Republican party: they're just as apt to play identity politics as Democrats, to even more detriment. Read Article VI Blog for spot-on analysis of how he has hurt and undermined the religious voice in politics.

The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions.
--Plato

And now for something Completely Different

2008-01-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

This year will mark a huge change for me and my family. After 8 years, we’ve decided that it’s time to ‘punch out’ of the Air Force. We made the decision last September, just after K was born, and I’ve been wrestling with the repercussions since. For instance, I’ve never written a résumé before, because I had a career right out of college; doing ROTC means slipping right in to the military. So, after several months of compiling data and distilling it down, I summarized the last 8 years of my life to one side of one sheet of paper. I know most of you are saying ‘big deal’, but it’s huge for me.

Fortunately, the military tries to take the sting off the transition. They provide classes in writing résumés, interviewing, job searching, et al. All that stuff you could wind up paying huge sums for, they military will give you free of charge, including all the advice you could ever want, and then some. It helps to have Reservists and defense contractors in the office as well. I can say, Hey, Mike, would you take a look at my résumé and tell me if you’d want to interview this guy? And they come back with all kinds of great advice on removing filler and emphasizing substance. There’s only one problem with this: 30 people have 30 opinions. It’s a good problem to have.

Anyway, I will be a civilian on the first of May. The wife is happy about this, of course, and really this decision is for her and the kids. If circumstances were different, I’d stay, but I just can’t abandon them every six months. Now, the big question is this: to I keep doing what I’ve been doing, or do I do something completely different? There’s a bit of safety and comfort in working with a contractor or another branch of the government, but there’s a whole bigger world out there as well. I know one thing for sure: I still have a mortgage either way I go.

Decisions, decisions. Gotta weigh pros and cons of a hundred variables. How do you do it out there in the real world?

I didn't like math as a kid either, but...

2008-01-21T22:14:00.001-07:00

Are you as confused as your child is about his math homework? Well, not to worry, "the idea is to know what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer."

B. is in second grade, and I was at a complete loss when I reviewed some of his math classwork. It consisted of using a "hundred chart" to sum two numbers. Now, this seems counter-intuitive, as he already knew how to COUNT. So, I decided I'd ask some hard math questions. Figuring that curriculum is the purview of the district, I penned (typed) the following letter to our superintendent:

Ms. W.,

We have a concern about the math curriculum at our son's school. He's a second grader at XX YY Elementary. Our concern is this: his math classwork is focused on complex counting exercises. He brought home a worksheet that encourages him to use a grid to count backward and forward in a "mental math" exercise. I've enclosed a scanned image of the grid that he's supposed to visualize, and another image of another grid from a popular preschool game, Chutes and Ladders. In both of these, it is neither addition nor subtraction being reinforced, but counting. The grid doesn't give children the tools and skills they need to think through complex mathematical problems; it fails to build a solid foundation and understanding of the basic rules of math in favor of an inferior technique. For instance, the exercise asks, "How can you use a hundred chart to add 35 and 24?"

Why not simply add 35 and 24 in the first place? The grid is unnecessary, if basic rules are taught effectively and understood.

Why is basic arithmetic not being taught at our son's school? When we were in second grade, math consisted of basic arithmetic facts (memorized, so as to "know them cold"), carrying, borrowing, knowing what the hundreds place was, etc. We are just two parents who are frustrated by the fact that our son is being short-changed by a curriculum that is not preparing him for the future.

He's also extremely frustrated with this system.

Many of our friends and neighbors are parents who share this same frustration with a system that fails to teach math in favor of counting exercises. My next-door-neighbor complained that his third-grader had to do all her math on a number line, as she was instructed to, rather than being able to line up columns and add/subtract; others complain that that their children who grew up with this system, now in middle school and beyond, cannot do complex problems without physically drawing this grid. Again, this process ill-prepares them for a future as productive adults.

What can we as parents do to initiate a change that will better prepare the children of District ZZ to succeed?

We look forward to your response.

My Father-in-Law, CPA of a large western natural gas company, had this to say:

God gave me fingers and toes that effectively do the same thing as the grid. I think you have nailed the problem precisely...I have never seen a computer game that uses a counting table.

I also had a discussion with someone from church who has a daughter in second grade. He was as confused as I was about the number chart. His daughter came home with the same homework, so he asked (after thinking, "what's a stinkin' hundred chart?"), "OK, where's your hundred chart?" "Taped to my desk," she said. So guess what he did? That's right, he taught her how to carry the one.

The email was forwarded to the district's Director of Curriculum, who called us back to explain that this is an attempt to fix an admittedly poor math curriculum, and that each school was free to try its hand at something better (yes, this is actually better than what went before). He also said that after the new year, they'd move to a more traditional-looking method of learning how to sum numbers.

I emailed him:

Mr. W.,

A few weeks ago I sent the District Superintendent a letter about the math curriculum at XX YY ES (Chutes and Ladders). You spoke to my wife about what the district is doing to fix the known problems with teaching mathematics, i.e. each school having it's own pilot programs. I want to say thank you for your attention on this matter and for answering our questions. The new year has brought a change in the second grade math curriculum, and my son is really getting it: he understands why the rule (carrying in addition) works, and is able to use that rule to solve more complex problems.

I recently stumbled across a video that discusses the shortcomings of many math curricula that are in use in schools today. A Seattle weathercaster walks through math problems using the various algorithms proffered by the "TERC" method and "Everyday Math", and while each arrives at the right answer, it seems that in these texts, the methodology is more important than understanding and knowing why numbers work; the logical and ordered relationships of numbers. She quotes "Everyday Math" as saying (and I'm paraphrasing here) 'it's not worth valuable classroom time to learn long division when you can just grab a calculator'. In fact, she showed that in the 4th and 5th grade texts, a good portion of each is devoted to calculator use.

A text that advocates such shortcuts in lieu of knowing how to add, subtract, et al, is in my estimation more a textbook marketing gimmick to sell more [inferior] books than an honest attempt to prepare children for success in the future.

As a final example, one exercise in the above clip tells students to perform the following problem:

36 ÷ 6 = ___
It then tells the student to perform the problem twice, using two different - and complex - methods of their choosing.

But the bottom line is, the answer is six, always has been and always will be, regardless of how many complex operations a child has to perform to get there. And for the district, it really comes down to kids knowing the right answer, and a bubble on a standardized test - methods don't matter there, so we may as well teach kids the easiest, smartest way (which is, I believe, the same way we learned 20 years ago) to solve it.

I strongly encourage Falcon District 49 to not use the "TERC" method and "Everyday Math", as they are inferior, convoluted methodologies at best.

Thank you

I also sent a note to B's teacher and principal, explaining why I was writing all of this. The Director encouraged us to provide feedback, so I am doing so. That's actually the best thing to come of all of this: first of all, that the district took us seriously enough to call us back, and second to say that they actually wanted parental input.

Mrs. A.,

A few weeks ago, I emailed the District Superintendent about the math curriculum that B was bringing home. My specific question was about "adding on a Hundred Chart". The reason I emailed the superintendent was that I thought that curriculum is under district jurisdiction. It was never my intent to bypass you as his teacher; I just figured that you had no control over the content so I'd go straight to the source. (The original email is attached below, in its entirety)

Mr. W., the district Director of Curriculum, Instruction, and Assessment, contacted us and explained how each school is using its own judgment in determining math curriculum. I must say that after seeing B's homework this week and helping him through it, I am extremely encouraged: He gets it! [The new year did change the methodology, it is traditional, back to columns and tens places and carrying...] More importantly, he’s excited about it. We made up a few extra problems, and he whizzed right through them, even carrying 2s and 3s. It was great to see that he understands the logic and order of numbers, and that the materials challenge him, rather than talk down to him.

My feedback to XX YY Elementary School is this: adopt a curriculum that teaches traditional mathematical methodologies to children who are capable of it, and if needed, teach others in an alternate method that they can understand. All children do not learn equally. Reading curriculum has understood this for years; there are reading groups divided according to ability. It makes sense to treat math in the same way.

I would also discourage the use of either the "TERC" method or "Everyday Math" as curricula at XX YY Elementary School, as they seem to be more interested in complex, convoluted methods than in keeping it simple.

Here's why kids need to be taught the rules of math, rather than figure out their own.

In the letter to the Director of Curriculum, I linked to a video clip. Watch it. Check out some of the video responses (one goes so far as to say, 'no wonder we're outsourcing all our jobs'). It's 15 1/2 minutes, and definitely an eye-opener: Math skills and knowledge are being traded for convenience; the book is even so bold as to ask, 'why spend time learning complex math processes? Having trouble? Just reach for a calculator.'

Bottom line is this: Kids need to know how to manipulate numbers. There are simple methods that work. Newer doesn't mean better.

One resolution down

2008-01-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

I didn't throw away my Christmas tree until June last year. That's right, it sat in a corner of the backyard for six months, four of which I was out of the country. So this year, I *ahem* resolved to take care of it early. On New Year's Day, I put Christmas away and drove the tree to the 'treecycle' lot.

It almost didn't happen; I almost had to find a ditch by the side of a back road. Someone put up just enough signs to say that there was such a place as a treecycle, but not enough to tell you exactly where to go. There was one pointing down the road, and then...nothing. We wound up going around and around in circles. Another minivan with a tree on top pulled up next to us to ask us where we were going. "To wherever the signs don’t say. "

After driving uselessly, my wife suggested we take a right, and there it was (angelic chord). But you had to either stumble across it like we did, or know in advance where it was. The other family drove down the highway. There was the sign one mile back pointing down the road, but none at the intersection to say "turn here". If you were lucky enough to turn left for some reason, there was a sign saying "straight ahead" about 50 feet after the turn, but one tends to look for signs at the intersection, not 50 feet after turning. I was tempted to nail my tree to a pole and set it up at the intersection pointing the way to go.

In any case, the tree is gone and there is no kindling leaning against the fence. All that's left is to take down the lights when two conditions are met: a) it's warm enough and b) I'm home when the sun is still up.

What's good for the goose

2007-12-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

ain't so good for the gander.

I was watching the news last night, and the lead story was about a local Jr. High teacher (male, basketball coach, health/math teacher) accused accused of sexually assaulting at least two students (female). Now, I lived in Tampa when Debra "Too Pretty For Jail" LaFave, another teacher, was convicted of having sex with a 14-y-o male student, but not exactly punished (follow the "timeline" link) for it, so I've seen this all before.

Any chance this Co Springs teacher will get the same kind of leniency as LaFave? Not likely, and it shouldn't have happened that way in Tampa, either. In both cases, an authority figure exploited (allegedly, in the most recent case) those they should have protected, but I'm sure the male teacher will be convicted in the court of public opinion well before he gets his day before a judge.

So I changed the channel, and caught "Two and a Half Men", with Charlie and Alan discussing high school, and Charlie boasts of 'having' one of his teachers, which of course gets lots of laughs.

The news report and the joke were within 45 seconds of each other.

As a society, we're disgusted, outraged and demand that heads roll for this behavior, but in make-believe land, it gets tacit approval for a cheap laugh. Why is that? Why should it be OK for Charlie Sheen to joke about sexual exploitation of a minor - proud to be the exploited minor - when lives are ruined when it happens in real life? On the one hand, we have those who not only should know better, but who are charged with protecting our children, betray that trust, and on the other hand there is the naivete of hormonal youth accepting that betrayal and exploitation as some kind of mark of coolness. The fact of the matter is, it is always wrong for someone in authority to take advantage of those in their charge, they should neither initiate, nor accept, such advances. For entertainers to make light of this is to enable and abet pedophiles.

One reader of the Tampa Tribune explained how even the language we use can unintentionally condone this exploitation.

Merry Tossmass

2007-12-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

I may just start this at my house - build a big collection of Chriswanzukah catalogs and hold a big family chuck 'em party. Thanks for the link, Scott.

This is just wrong.

2007-12-11T10:11:00.001-07:00

So, I'm reading the news at work the other day, and for a different perspective on things, I look at the BBC's home page. I click on a headline that seems interesting, and get this message:

Now, I've seen this message before, with a video- or audio-linked news story, but never the NEWS! Just to make sure, I went to Al Jazeera's page, and I still had full access.

No BBC, but Al Jazeera is ok? What gives?

In my field, we call this stuff Open Source Intel, and it's a valuable way of reading the prevailing winds for a given region and audience. I'd send in a complaint, but the base internet mafia would do something dumber still: instead of giving us back the BBC, they'd block that and Al Jazeera, thereby cutting us off from relevant information and perspectives.

Conspiracy theory

2007-12-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

I just know that China is out to ruin our economy.

They know that our economy depends on Christmas shopping (a huge chunk of annual retail sales -- make-or-break, if news outlets are to be believed -- happens this time of year), so what better way to screw up the United States in their bid for absolute hegemony than to deliberately sell tainted toys and stuff, thereby forcing us into not do our patriotic duty of Buying Stuff We Don't Need and sending the US economy into a death spriral and helping China's communist empire emerge victorious over the evil capitalist American society that's way too dependent on others for food, clothing, transportation, toys, pet food, oil, national policy... (The mark of a good conspiracy theory is vague, unsubstantiated, incomprehensible run-on sentences, right?)

Here's an overview of all the toy recalls; NPR story on same.

I'm tellin' ya, someone way up in the Chinese Communist Party said the best way to destroy the US economy and assert Chinese ascendancy was to deliberately scare Americans out of their patriotic holiday shopping.

I'm just glad that our Thomas the Tank Engine collection is complete. No lead paint here! I'll bet the new DVDs have subversive subliminal messages underneath George Carlin's narration.

Go West, my son

2007-12-06T07:44:00.001-07:00

So I was driving home from work last night, and noticed that the car in front of me was from Nebraska. The license plate, an outline of the state with a Conestoga wagon headed across the plains, tells you everything you need to know: 'they're representing the state with an image of people trying to go somewhere else!'

The NE state quarter has the same motif, people trying to go somehwere other than Nebraska. Even in 1852 it was flyover country.

Variation on a theme, the new Utah state quarter does the same thing - an image of the Golden Spike connecting the first transcontinental railroad. In other words, a better means of going somewhere else.

Time for music

2007-11-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hello, you fool! A little Jr. high nostalgia. The videos are a bit cheesy, but hey, it's Roxette!!
(I originally embedded all the videos, but it got bogged down)

The Look

Dangerous

Joyride

And for good measure, here's some Rush!!

Limelight

Fly By Night (check out this 9-year-old doing Neil Peart's job for him)

and Red Barchetta - live in Frankfurt

Oh, and who can forget this? Too sexy!

Plus, a new tune on Checkpoint Charley's page, Family Tree. Does this mean there's a new CD out, Kevin?

New images of Colorado

2007-11-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

I've posted new images of Garden of the Gods Park and Manitou Cliff Dwellings on my Images of Colorado Picasa page.

Fire Storm

2007-10-26T09:52:00.001-06:00

Many Utah papers have a singular focus: "Hit and miss fire: some LDS suffer loss while others spared".

The comments are the best part. Gotta love it when people won't put their names to their words. Alas, sarcasm is wasted on the humorless.

Having grown up LDS in Utah, and also having left (the place, not the Church) seven years ago, I just fail to see why someone's religion makes losing one's home any more devastating to an otherwise disinterested newspaper reader over a thousand miles away. Worse are the comments asserting that due to its LDS Church ownership and readership demographics, the Deseret News has an obligation to report "All the Mormon News that's Fit to Print"; they show a great deal of willful ignorance, bias and, dare I say it, ostrich-ism. This paper has a dedicated section for those headlines: Saturday's "LDS Church News". All I'm saying is keep the general headlines relevant to the general population.

Ahmadinejad at Columbia University

2007-09-24T23:15:00.000-06:00

Every man deserves to be given enough rope to hang himself. The Iranian president was given that and then some at Columbia University today. He used it all. I was a bit surprised at the emotional tone of the University President's preliminary address. Not so surprised at Ahmadinejad's non-answer answers.

(In eight parts)

Reports:

Fox News
CNN, (part two)
BBC

Our [BBC] correspondent says Mr Ahmadinejad firmly believes he can convince global opinion and the American people of the rightness of his cause.

And in the cartoonist world:

Cox and Forkum

It's that time again...

2007-09-22T21:33:00.000-06:00

Time to complain about everybody selling Christmas stuff way too early. I think that's all I'll have to say on the subject this year.

Welcome!

2007-09-21T13:35:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we welcomed K into our family. She weighed in at 7 lb/6oz, a midget compared with the others. B weighed 8/4, D was 8/8 and M was a whopping nine-and-a-quarter. Now, you have to understand, I'm small-framed and so is my wife, and we were both small babies compared to our own kids. Mom is very happy about having delivered such a small bowling ball.

We were going to have my wife induced on Saturday morning, but about midnight Wednesday night she woke me up saying, "I'm leaking". Now, spontaneous water-breakage has never happened to us before, so even as veterans of three deliveries, we were in new territory. Fortunately, Grandma had arrived that very day, so we didn't have to wake the neighbors and kids. She was having no contractions, so we called her doctor and they said to go to the hospital. We got to the hospital at 1:30 (one good thing about late-night deliveries: no traffic. At 6, she was having regular contractions, so she got the epidural and other fun drugs, and she instantly lost control of the lower left side of her body. Three and a half hours later, the baby was out, and feeding like a champ.

The older two kids are stoked about having a little sister, and the two-year-old is bewildered, jealous and afraid all at once. Sorry Dude, we're not taking her back.

Seems like everyone knows who the enemy is

2007-09-14T12:04:00.000-06:00

...except for the willfully obtuse.

An encouraging development, but a sad reason for it, from the Iraqis: at a funeral for a prominent Sunni leader of the opposition to al Quaida in Iraq (AQI),

Mourners chanted "We will take our revenge" and "There is no God but Allah and al-Qaeda is the enemy of Allah" as the procession continued to the family cemetery (emphasis added).

That tells us that average Iraqi knows:
- who the threat to their sovereignty and prosperity really is
- that Americans aren't perpetrating road bombs, suicide bombs, etc
- that Americans aren't the targets of AQI insurgents either, and
- that the only people who can change things are strong Iraqis who put their own lives on the line and challenge the murderous Islamo-fascists (a term which I think is highly appropriate, considering the xenophobic nature of the word 'fascist').

With more anti-AQI sentiment from more people who are fed up with their leaders and loved ones being slaughtered in a bid for oppressive power, we can see the tide turn. But that means sticking around to help them in their fight. Once the Iraqi security aparatus (a huge mistake, dissolving the army and police) is rebuilt, we'll only need small teams of advisors to keep them proficient and effective (lethal) against AQI.

Just because you want to leave doesn't mean the bully is finished with you. You can pull the US military out of Iraq, but that doesn't end the war. Victory and defeat end wars.

It's a big club

2007-09-12T07:47:00.000-06:00

Fidel Castro officially joins the tinfoil hat-wearing club.

"In an essay read by a Cuban television presenter on Tuesday night, Castro said the Pentagon was hit by a rocket, not a plane, because no traces were found of its passengers...

"Castro's 4,256-word essay made no mention of Osama bin Laden and his militant Islamist al Qaeda network behind the attacks on New York's World Trade Center and Washington."

Looks like one cubano has unfettered internet access.

So, with all kinds of conspiracy theories around the world, all concocted by tinfoil hat-wearing, black helicopter-fearing (and black t-shirt-wearing) crazies, what do we do about it?

The most recent poll on the matter—a Zogby poll taken this month—showed that fully 42 percent of Democrats polled believe* that Bush either caused 9/11 or let it happen. That the man they denigrate for his doltishness as he read “My Pet Goat” to a group of grade-schoolers was simultaneously the evil genius mastermind of the day’s happenings ... For that reason, even though the real truth about 9/11 is utterly and completely obvious to the rest of us, the Truthers [not Democrats] must be countered. Their myths must be met with facts.

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not", said Aragorn, in Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings. Whether we turn tail and run away in Iraq and Afghanistan or not, those who are bent on our destruction will not relent.

Nor will we.

Nor will we forget who caused the carnage on a calm, late summer morning in New York City, Washington, DC and Pennsylvania. Nor will we forget those who were lost to men bent on a 7th-century worldview, without compassion, without love, but full of ideological superiority and hate. Our task is to prove that an ideology of love, compassion and tolerance for others is superior, and that means not tolerating the intolerant.

*As a digression, consider others of the far-reaching left who say that religious (i.e. credulous) people have no place in politcs.

Lawn mines

2007-09-11T20:00:00.000-06:00

So I'm mowing the lawn tonight, which means that first I have to clean up after the dog, both chew-toy stuffing and landmines. As I'm cutting circles around the backyard with the mower, the suicidal beagle (someone said beagles are really smart, but this indicates otherwise) keeps lunging at the mower, howling like there's no tomorrow, and if she gets any closer, there surely won't be. But that's not what's frustrating. Nor is her desire for a nostrilectomy via weed-wacker. No, what gets me is that once she gets bored chasing the mower, she finds a spot I just finished with, and seems to think, "well, now you've gone and ruined my carefully planned art," and proceeds to 'reacquire' lost territory; she pollutes it. Which means that in spite of my best efforts, I still have to watch my step.

I get the last laugh, though. She always winds up with bright green socks.

42

2007-09-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

Enjoy the Eagles' "Journey of a Sorcerer," also known to fans of Science Fiction and British humour as the theme to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Who cares about the comet?

It seems to begin and end about 4 times.

Unofficial Mormon Sunday Sports-watching Rules

2007-09-01T22:07:00.000-06:00

Full Disclosure: I'm a sports-agnostic Aggie.

September marks the beginning of Professional Football's Regular Season. However, watching NFL Football is not an approved Sabbath Activity for members of the LDS Church (aka, Mormons). That said, we recognize that there are those members who feel compelled (i.e. tempted beyond their means to resist) to habitually indulge in Sunday Professional Football Watching. In order to help those members so afflicted overcome this temptation, the following Sunday* NFL Football guidelines have been put in place:

Quarterback must be Mormon (Young, McMahon, Detmer…)
Said Mormon QB must have attended BYU (Young, McMahon, Detmer…)

When there is a dearth of BYU Mormon Quarterbacks in the NFL, SUCCESSFUL coaches/assistant coaches, very prominent wide receivers, but never kickers, may be used as justification

QB must play pro first string (Young, McMahon, ~~Detmer~~…)
With the above exception, a Mormon Player who attended another school (USU, UofU, UNLV, FSU or a *real* football school) and/or played another position does not count, even if he did attend institute.

...UNLESS you can prove that you were his Actual Mission Companion (i.e. photos, letters home, journal entries…) or played with him in High School/College (verify with quorum president)

Teams that boast a retired first-string BYU Mormon QB can still be enjoyed (SF 49ers, Chicago Bears…) upon that player's retirement.

We also recognize that the same temptations (beyond means to resist watching) exist for Sunday NBA and MBL games. Therefore, the same basic pattern as above applies**, with the exception that the position played is not a prerequisite. Provided at least one Mormon player in the game (NBA or MLB) played college ball at BYU (Shawn Bradley, Danny Ainge, Robbie Reid...), you may enjoy his performance and honor him as a Mormon Sports Hero (i.e. one who works on Sunday as a Sabbath-breaking ball player) regardless of position played (basketball: center, forward, guard, etc.; baseball: shortstop, pitcher, left fielder, etc.).

As always, Word of Wisdom restrictions remain in effect; do not overindulge in bratwurst.

We hope this instruction helps LDS pro sports addicts overcome temptation and guides them back to the fold. Alternatively, there's TIVO.

*Also applies to Monday Night Football, until after Family Home Evening is finished. This is not a reason to skimp on FHE, or say, “FHE is Football tonight”.

**Exception: If you are a Utah Resident, the "Compulsory Jazz Fan Act (HB 5299)" applies^, and you are required to be a Rabid Jazz Fan, no matter which BYU Alum is on the opposing team. Otherwise, if you are a resident of another state/city with or without a pro sports franchise, you may pick your favorite Former BYU Alum Professional Athlete, regardless of team.

^Active Duty Military stationed in Utah are exempt from HB 5299.

What I saw on the news today.

2007-08-30T21:51:00.000-06:00

According to this Senate webpage, less than one-half of peer-reviewed scientists accept the idea of catastrophic man-made global warming.

"Of 528 total papers on climate change, only 38 (7%) gave an explicit endorsement of the consensus. If one considers 'implicit' endorsement (accepting the consensus without explicit statement), the figure rises to 45%. However, while only 32 papers (6%) reject the consensus outright, the largest category (48%) are neutral papers, refusing to either accept or reject the hypothesis. This is no 'consensus.'"

And this part about the UN IPCC report is really disturbing. It’s a chicken-and-egg report, the summary is written by policy makers, then the data are edited to conform to the summary:

"[The] survey contradicts the United Nation IPCC's Fourth Assessment Report (2007), which gave a figure of "90% likely" man was having an impact on world temperatures. But does the IPCC represent a consensus view of world scientists? Despite media claims of "thousands of scientists" involved in the report, the actual text is written by a much smaller number of "lead authors." The introductory "Summary for Policymakers" -- the only portion usually quoted in the media -- is written not by scientists at all, but by politicians, and approved, word-by-word, by political representatives from member nations. By IPCC policy, the individual report chapters -- the only text actually written by scientists -- are edited to "ensure compliance" with the summary, which is typically published months before the actual report itself."

Would someone please clarify this? The earth is warming, but is it part of the natural cycle, due to evil polluting industry or Al Gore’s hot air? And what does peer-reviewed science have to do with Global Scaring, anyway?

Speaking of Global Warming, it’s finally happened: a green church. Nowhere in scripture is this farce validated. Sounds like he’s built a church to himself, inventing sins and penances. As a Mormon, I’d wish this Catholic were more concerned with people living up to the Two Great Commandments than in assuaging Gore-induced guilt and assuring them that paying into some Carbon Offset LLC as penance for a flight to the Riviera will ensure their place in, where exactly? Leave green indulgences to the green priests, he should concentrate on saving souls.

ADDITIONAL: A leading environmentalist says to control carbon, grow - then use - more trees.

Locally, an elementary school bans the playing of tag. Grrrrr. Not at my kids’ school. Next thing you know, they’ll say all the boys have too much nervous energy and need to be medicated. If you care to read the comments, the discussion quickly devolves into a useless "Liberals are ruining our fair city"/"Conservatives are stupid anyway" catfight and they miss the whole point:

Blanket knee-jerk policies like these do absolutely nothing to fix bad behavior.

The kid who was picking on a girl needed to be confronted and given consequences for his behavior instead of punishing the whole school. (of course, the story omits any previous action taken, if any.) On the surface, the teacher in question was lazy, and missed an opportunity to correct wrong behavior, the students all suffer for one, and the whole city is crying foul. As it is, the offending child will simply find a way around the new rule and continue getting in trouble, because he was not confronted about his behavior by an authority figure, and the 'victim' hasn't learned that there are people who can help.

Finally, someone on Townhall.com found something nice to talk about! Shakespeare is still cool. I had some thoughts about the Bard and other 'Dead White European Males' that I'll post at a later date.

And the Best e-bay Posting Ever. And her blog.

I feel so inspired

2007-08-29T11:21:00.000-06:00

When I got to work on Monday morning, the whole office had been redecorated. Seems that even though there's no money for needed trips and improvements, they were able to scrape enough together to buy nearly a dozen 'inspirational' posters. You know, the kind with a pretty photograph of an eagle or a mountain or a group of people working together (successfully, of course) and a pithy saying, a little more thoughtful than Jack Handy, that's supposed to propel us to greater things.

I much prefer demotivators. They're more realistic.

Validated!

2007-08-23T14:26:00.000-06:00

Spot on analysis of Intenet/cable/network news, and an affirmation of what I've been saying for a long time now - it's not news, just two screaming heads arguing to fill in the gaps between commercials. We can sit back and be entertained on the morning yak-shows and yet remain blissfully uninformed. Fair and Balanced^TM? I'd love to see objective.

However, the author loses points for her vitriol aimed at Matt Drudge, it nearly overshadows what I think is the main point: the media, in its quest for ratings, distracts from, titillates and distorts what's really important. As if the gravy were more substantive than the roast.

Here's a follow-up to the original Chicago Sun-Times story.

And there are some great commenets in the original. Glad I'm not the only one who can see that the 24-hour 'news' feeding frenzy has ruined what used to be called journalism.

Fire and Ice

2007-08-22T21:07:00.000-06:00

A god hot sauce burns twice.
Marie Sharp's burns for days.

I picked this up in Belize City on our cruise last March. It was one of my must-have purchases, as it was a staple of my diet when I was a missionary in Dangriga. We'd put this stuff on just about everything, from refried beans and fresh flour tortillas to mac-n-cheese, aka, Yellow Death. It's made with a carrot base, not tomato, hence the orange color, and the principle ingredient is habanero peppers. I used to be crazy enough to use the 'Fiery Hot' variety, but I've since mellowed. Probably the best hot sauce I've ever tasted, a couple of drops is all you need, unless you're a masochist.

All that heat would have been good this evening, too. The past couple of weeks, we've had some severe t-storms, dumping inches of rain in a matter of minutes. Today, Mother Nature did us one better by dumping ping-pong-ball-sized hail on us. I haven't checked the car yet.

Scooter mishaps

2007-08-22T10:42:00.000-06:00

I mentioned the other day that B bought himself a scooter with his own money. Actually, that one broke within two days so we took it back to Wally-World and got a better one for ten bucks more. I didn't mind paying the extra for a better product, especially when B had done his part in earning the twenty bucks for the original. Now he's injured himself with it. We were walking the dog the other day, and he got going a bit too fast, forgot there was a brake, and took a tumble, scraping up his face, elbow and belly. Two days later, he was just scooting around the driveway, fell and hurt his arm. I took him to the ER that evening (for some reason, "urgent" and "emergency" never mean what they say), and we got x-rays. Seems there's no break, but his arm is in a splint and sling for the next week.

It costs how much??

2007-08-15T22:18:00.000-06:00

Today, a news story explaining how basic food items (eggs, milk, veggies, fruit, beef) are in double-digit inflation. Read it and wince at the ignorance of one man who hasn’t bought his own groceries in at least the last 10 (if not more) years.

"The Bureau of Labor Statistics said in its June inflation report that egg prices are 19.5 percent higher than they were in June 2006. Over the same period, according to the department’s consumer price index, whole milk was up 13.3 percent; fresh chicken 10 percent; navel oranges 19.8 percent; apples 11.7 percent. Dried beans were up 11.5 percent, and white bread just missed double-digit growth, rising by 9.6 percent."

That paragraph is immediately preceded by this gem:

"Meeting with economic writers last week, President Bush dismissed several polls that show Americans are down on the economy. He expressed surprise that inflation is one of the stated concerns.

'They cite inflation?' Bush asked, adding that, 'I happen to believe the war has clouded a lot of people's sense of optimism.' "(emphasis added)

Oh, really? I happen to buy groceries on a weekly basis. Let's go to the Safeway together, shall we? I'll show you my income/outgo, and you decide if we buy bread or milk this week.

Oh, to be elite and clueless.

And there was a shrewd comment by someone (poster SwingCorey) who astutely pointed out that writing, "Half the nation’s families earn below the median family income of about $56,000," is simply pointing out what Mean income, er, means: half above, half below; it would still be true if the mean income were $560,000. It seems the reporter hopes we see the "half below" statement and cry "something must be done!" Mostly, the comments are inane rants.

Dinosaur Mass Grave Discovered

2007-08-14T11:47:00.000-06:00

No joke, that's the headline on CNN.com today (now linked to original on reuters.com). Mass Grave. Better try T-rex for War Crimes. Seriously, though, two plateosaurs were found while digging a home foundation in Switzerland. They say 'mass grave' because there appears to have been a herd in the area that is entombed together. But the story loses credibility when it goes on to say:

The peaceful herbivore -- measuring up to 10 meters from head to tail -- roamed river deltas in large herds some 210 million years ago, according to some scientists...

Peaceful herbivore? Isn't Reuters jumping to conclusions a little bit here? Just because and animal is an herbivore means that's it's peaceful? A little 'species-ist, no? A little stereotypical, don't you think? Next we'll have articles stating that predators are bloodthirsty, savage beasts who delight - actually delight! - in the act of killing. Wait, Jurassic Park has already been written. But what if Triceratops were inherently violent, and habitually attacked any other animal that came along? What if sharks aren't mindless killing machines, and are actually complex creatures who act on a variety of impulses, and don't exhibit human emotions or attributes at all?

The average cartoon animals are bad enough. It's a bit preposterous to give an animal that's been dead millions of years the human quality of 'peaceful'. As in 'not war-like?' Does the fossil record indicate that dinosaurs knew about war and peace? Leave it at 'herbivore'. That much, at least, can be proved.

I know, a silly, petty little soapbox, to be sure, but let's stick to facts, ok?

It's a dangerous world out there

2007-08-06T10:13:00.000-06:00

A week or so ago, B and I went on a father/son camp out with our ward. We drove and drove up highway 24 to a little place called Round Mountain Campground, 70 miles from our house and northwest of Pike’s Peak. It’s the second time we’ve done this, and he had a blast, except for the rain. We were expecting rain, but it got us good. We had a lake in our tent. This was mostly because the queen-size air mattress we had was too big for the tent, and it touched both the front and back, letting in the rain. Fortunately, air mattresses float, so even though the top was damp, we were up and out of the water. It got all our extra “in case it rains” clothes soaking wet, though.

But the rain couldn’t keep us from the most important part of this: a huge campfire for s’mores and dutch oven peach cobbler. mmmmmmmm.

That same Saturday, B also got to experience the joy of paying for something with his own hard-earned money. He’s wanted a scooter for a long time, and after weeks and weeks of saving his chore money (he gets marbles for doing chores like cleaning up the dog poop, that he then trades for money), he finally had 20 bucks for the scooter, so we loaded up, went to the new Wal-Mart, and he bought it. D bought something with her chore money, too.

Oh, and I didn’t leave her out of the ‘time-with-Dad’ category, last Friday, we had a daddy/daughter date. Since she’s four, it can be simple, ice cream at Sonic, and yet another trip to Wal-Mart for groceries. Even that can be a good time, if you make it that way.

Oh, and I decided I have to get The Dangerous Book for Boys for B’s next birthday (or is it for me? I can’t decide).

Dutch Oven Peach Cobbler

- 1 1-gal can of peaches
- 1 cake mix
- 1 can 7-Up

In a Dutch Oven, dump peaches, sprinkle cake mix over and pour in 7-up. Cover, cook it for a while then eat it. (can substitute any fruit for peaches, i.e. cherries)

Whistling Pete Mortar

2007-07-25T23:30:00.000-06:00

Something else we did on our trip, well, actually my brother-in-law did it, was experiment with fireworks. First, crush a Whistling Pete so it explodes all at once, rather than put out your eardrums, then place it in two nested cans, the inner one with a hole in the bottom that faces up. Fill the cans with water, light the firecracker and enjoy. The water forms a seal that forces the explosion up. 150 feet up, in this case! The grown-ups were as easily impressed as the kids.

New images

2007-07-25T23:10:00.000-06:00

We got a new camera, and I put it through its paces on our recent trip. Here are some of the best images.

New Blog

2007-07-23T11:13:00.000-06:00

I built a new blog that will follow the progress of our basement project over the next two months. There's a permanent link in the sidebar.

School Supplies Craze

2007-07-23T08:05:00.000-06:00

I finished school shopping for B this weekend, and I gotta tell ya, it's only second grade, and I'm already tired of providing supplies for his entire class. The list calls for an 8-oz bottle of glue (Elmer's), the standard crayons, markers, colored pencils (all Crayola, of course) two PINK erasers, 24 "American" pencils (sharpened) and various and sundry other items.

The official line is this: "these brands are of better quality and last longer". But it also has the added benefit of ensuring that no child has anything different from anyone else ("No, you can't have a Transformers eraser!"). Never mind that we all go to Wal-Mart and buy all the same stuff anyway, it's these teachers and school boards making decisions for parents that I have a problem with. I'm perfectly capable of deciding what brands to buy for my kid, thank you very much. And 24 sharpened pencils? Besides the fact that they come in packages of ten, when I was a kid and needed a new pencil, I'd go home, ask Mom and bring a new one back the next day.

We didn't have a community pencil pool, kids were responsible for themselves. What happened to that?

Not to mention the fact that at the end of first grade, the teacher sent us home a box of 20 unused pencils that I didn't know about until late Saturday. My own personal rebellion? Rose Art colored pencils! It's these little victories that mean so much.

I only hope his second grade teacher doesn't punish proactivity like his first grade teacher did; he finished his homework in class and had to "pull a card" for it. Now it may just be me, but homework should serve a purpose other than itself. If he's mastered the lesson so well that he can do his (5 minute phonics) homework before the other kids have done the class work, or in a spot of down time, who is she to punish him for it? Oh, right, she's a licensed teacher.

Back online

2007-07-20T12:31:00.000-06:00

Well, I’ve been home for about a month now. It wasn’t the same flying adventure that I had getting to Colombia, but leaving Florencia was its own exciting journey.

If you recall, I had a bit of trouble with the rain while trying to leave. That happened again the next day, and I wasn’t able to leave until Thursday. My flight back to the States was early Friday morning, so I had about 2 hours Thursday afternoon to get all my paperwork in order at the embassy. The most frustrating thing about it was, the private, for-profit airline (Aires) came and went, on schedule, rain wasn’t a problem. However, the state of Colombia runs its own airline, Satena; flown by Colombian Air Force pilots. Now, given that it’s a government airline, we shouldn’t be surprised that they couldn’t be counted on to be on time, especially when we’re now three days late. I remember asking the desk worker something like, ‘when does the airplane arrive for the 9:30 flight?’ ‘Oh, about 10:00’ and when that came and went and the departure was changed to 12:00, I went to the same girl at 11:30 and asked where the airplane was right now, (knowing that it should be only ½ hour out now) and she didn’t know what to make of the question.

You see, when government involves itself in matters better left to private industry, gross incompetence and indifference is the rule of the day. This is because private industry knows that customer satifaction is essential for the bottom line. Government workers, on the other had, couldn't care less about customers, because they get paid no matter what (being a government worker surrounded by other goverment workers, I can say this).

She said it was just now leaving Bogotá. That made it a good hour-plus away. So the bottom line is, a Tuesday evening flight finally left Florencia at around 1:00 Thursday morning. The really ironic bit? I was originally scheduled to leave Tuesday morning on Aires, and that flight made it. On schedule.

So that’s my rant. In the month since then, I’ve finished my kids’ swingset and gone on a road trip to Utah to a family reunion (all the descendants of my great-grandfather). That side of the family settled in Cache Valley, so there was a driving tour/scavenger hunt of family sites around Smithfield and Logan, UT. Now, I grew up in that area, so I skipped the 'official' tour and took my and my brother’s kids on our own tour of things that would be more interesting to them, like our house, the churches we attended, our school and the dairy that we worked on. I also visited with el Cartoonista and family, spayed the dog, got thrown into a conference at work and now we’re about to sign a contract to finish the basement! Framing begins next week, and in two months we’ll have a whole space to banish the kids to when we want peace and quiet.

But Colombia was a fantastic experience. I met some great people who are doing the best they can to fight an implacable enemy with limited resources. They deserve our respect for doing a very difficult job, and our encouragment as they improve their methods and tactics to be more effective in combatting the FARC after more than 40 years of conflict.

¡Viva Colombia!

Not so fast!

2007-06-12T17:32:00.001-06:00

This afternoon, I went to the airport to catch my ride to Bogotá, got all my luggage checked, paid for the extra bag, checked my weapon with the police, and sat down to wait. I'm still waiting; this being the rain forest, my flight got canceled. Now the frustrating thing is that there was a military flight that left the base that's not 45 minutes away by car. A little thought and coordination, and someone put me on that flight and saved the cost of my ticket and my extra baggage charge, and I'd be in Bogotá, not here waiting to hopefully not get canceled again tomorrow.

Time will tell.

Well, that's a fine farewell

2007-06-12T04:16:00.000-06:00

Well, as you can see the post time below, it's still very early, and the band is playing - loudly and out of tune - and it seems they're accompanied by every vehicle horn on this base. There's even backing-up signals (beep. beep. beep.), and what sounds like either firecrackers or gunshots. Like I said, it's early and I can't tell the difference.

Makes me wonder, is it a parade for me? In twelve hours I'm leaving Florencia, and later this week, Colombia.

It's been a good trip, I've made some good friends and learned a lot about this country and its culture. Hopefully, I've been able to show them techniques that will bring this conflict to an end before it goes on for another forty years. I still think it's a good thing that the bad guys recruit from the same gene pool as the good guys.

I'm going back to bed in a useless attempt to get some sleep.

Ick

2007-06-08T09:26:00.001-06:00

Did you ever feel like, or dream that, bugs were crawling all over you?

I woke up late last night with this weird feeling on my neck, so I brushed it away and heard something fall behind my bed. Then I went back to sleep, and woke up again with the same feeling, so I grabbed at my neck, and felt legs and a cold, plasticky thing in my hand. I threw it and heard it fall to the floor. Curious, I got up and grabbed a flashlight, and there it was: a 1 1/2" cockroach. I can't understand what made me look tasty enough for a roach to come back for more, but I wasn't about to give it a third shot. I grabbed my flip-flop, whacked it and watched as it fell off the wall and onto its back.

It was still twitching in the morning.

Is it real...

2007-05-30T08:14:00.002-06:00

...or is it Photoshop?

This remarkable image scanned from the front page of El Tiempo (May 26 07, no online archive available) shows children running from what looks like a GBU-12. Or does it? The caption reads:

Palestinian scare in offensive against Hamas

This scene was captured in the Palestinian Refugee camp Nusseirat, on the fringes of Gaza, seconds after the fall of a missile launched by the Israeli army. Terrified people ran. The projectile fell on a Hamas building on the ninth day of violence.

Let's take a closer look:

The falling object in the image is not a missile launched by an army, but in fact, a laser-guided bomb dropped by an aircraft. This may be a gross editorial oversight, but it erodes credibility. If it were a missile, the photographer would not have been in a position to see it launched "seconds" before, and it would have a smoke trail. Furthermore, a bomb like this typically falls at more than 500 mph, making this photograph unlikely (though not impossible), or a simple photoshop job. One last thing about this bomb, its rear stabilizing fins are not deployed, casting further doubt on this image's authenticity; these fins are necessary for proper guidance.

Finally, is this photographer still alive? Being this close to a 500-lb warhead when it goes off is kind of rough on photographic equipment and human bodies.

The staging of images in the Middle East is well-documented, just google "photoshop" and "lebanon" and you'll get several hits on the infamous Reuters image from last year's combat in Lebanon. Whether the above image is genuine or not, its spectacular nature, combined with this history, puts its veracity in doubt.

Too much, or not enough?

2007-05-25T15:16:00.000-06:00

For the last three days, we've had water problems.

Every morning there's just enough water for a shower, but only if you jump in, shut off the water, soap up, and rinse off. By noon, there's almost no flowing water in the house. Here's the thing: for some reason, two spigots keep flowing, but in the bathrooms and kitchen, no hay agua. It's time for the old bucket-flush. Now, where this gets really strange is that we had a pipe fixed, and water is still flowing from the spigot on the end, but in the middle of the same pipe is a 'T' joint going to the washing machine, and it's dry as a bone.

However, it's not like there's no water at all. After three days of hot, humid, dry (meaning not raining) weather, the heavens opened at 10:00 last night and haven't stopped. When I left my house this morning, it was like walking through a lake. The water went up to my ankles.

So there's plenty of water, just none I can use.

New Picasa web images

2007-05-17T14:29:00.000-06:00

At last, an update for all three of my regular readers.

Things have been kind of slow here, we've had a personnel change, and some progress with a couple of projects that we're helping the COLAR with; hopefully it pays off in the near future.

A couple of weeks ago I went to Bogotá, and the LDS temple there. Here's what I've determined since then: in a nation torn by 40 years of internal conflict, whether Marxist rebels or drug cartels, or a combination of the two as they have evolved today, there are places where real peace can be found.

And there was great news from the jungle today: Jhon Pinchao, a Colombian National Police officer who had been held captive by the FARC for nearly nine years, escaped late last month and wandered through the jungle of eastern Colombia for 17 days. He was being held in a camp with several high-profile captives, including politicians and the three American contractors who were taken captive in 2003. Sr. Pinchao stated that he saw them the day he escaped, the first real proof-of-life since they were taken four years ago.

Finally, I posted a few more images in my Colombia album, new stuff is at the end.

Mayday! Mayday!

2007-05-01T08:39:00.000-06:00

Happy World Workers' Day. To celebrate, we have protests for an easy path to citizeship, Fidel Castro is a no-show at the parade of "cheering workers" in Havana (probably saving his waning strength for a big speech later tonight), Hugo Chavez isolates himself even further (withdrawing from World Bank and IMF, and appropriating oil companies), and, in democratic Colombia, the largest seizure of cocaine ever (sorry, story is in Spanish from the Colombian El Tiempo). Yesterday, the Colombian Navy, acting on good intel, seized several boats laden with a total of 25 tons of pure cocaine, with a street value of $650 million, ready for shipping. Perhaps pure is the wrong word; knowing how the stuff is processed, I'll say uncut.

There's also this from a US Army Lt Col about who is responsible for the US military's problems in Iraq, Afghanistan, et. al. What he has to say amounts to effecting a huge cultural change in the US military, and he's guaranteed either his own unceremonious departure from the Army, and/or his status as a sacrificial lamb and cause celebre. His argument: for 50 years we've been planning and preparing to fight the previous war, specifically, a huge industrial, two-theater war like WWII. Unfortunately, our enemies have been preparing for the next war; guerrilla insurgencies, or what we euphemistically call "Low-Intensity Conflict". And, he says, it's the generals in charge who lack the foresight to make the institutional changes necessary to succeed in such an endeavor; all our military training and education relives the glory days without learning the lessons of our failures (actually, without institutionalizing them, we talk about it all the time).

Day Trip

2007-04-23T15:41:00.000-06:00

Last Friday we went to a small village that's in the process of being resettled. The popuation was forced out a few years ago when the FARC was trying to assert control over the area; they returned about 4 months ago. We had several embassy agencies and their Colombian counterparts with us, and a platoon or two of Colombian soldiers for security of the delegation. The point was to show both the locals and the Embassy the critical infrastructure (water, schools..) and social improvements that need money thrown at them in order to make a difference. There's no clean running water, and the schools are still in poor condition.

However, the people who live here are working hard at carving out a living again, they've opened shops and restaurants - even a maternity store. In spite of the progress, we know that there are also bad guys who have infilitrated the village in order to watch and disrupt all the improvements that the Government is trying to accomplish.

Sing, sing a song

2007-04-23T08:14:00.000-06:00

I remember a play in high school that took place in WWII, on a train, I think. One of the characters was a German spy, and she blew her cover by revealing that she knew all 4 verses of the US national anthem; the joke was, "no real American knows the second verse of The Star Spangled Banner."

Well, here' something that will put us all to shame. Every day, twice a day, the Colombian National anthem can be heard, either played by the battalion band in the morning, or at 6:00 in the evening on radio and TV stations everywhere. I finally got curious enough to Google it, and here it is, all 11 verses. Yes, 11 verses extolling the grandeza of the land and the people and the history.

It's mostly about the *real* Bolivian Revolution that achieved independence from Spain, and you get a tour of the whole country to boot. Here's my favorite line: "Unarmored soldiers won victory, their manly breath was to them a shield," from the 5th verse.

Reminds me of when Calvin had to sing Hobbes' praises to get back into the G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) tree fort, "My RE-spect for tigers contin-u'lly grows".

Red Earth Day

2007-04-21T17:59:00.000-06:00

This FrontPageMag.com article on the origins of Earth Day was published last year, but bears reading now, especially in light of Global Warming hysteria, and what Patrick Moore, co-founder of Greenpeace, had to say about that subject in The Great Global Warming Swindle
(see it on YouTube).

From the article:

“Speaking as an environmental, wilderness and anti-corporate activist, I see no reason to participate in this year’s [2006] celebration,” the head of the Oregon-based group Wild Wilderness Scott Silver told radical journalist Bill Berkowitz in a 2005 interview. “My opinion is that the iconic Earth Day event has succumbed to corporate takeover and it is time to move on.” ...

“The Bush Administration and his corporate allies will frame Earth Day as a time for all Americans to do their part to help the planet,” said Silver. “They will encourage us to recycle more, waste less water….plant seedlings, save odd scraps of aluminum foil and compost our table scraps…. They will frame the issue saying that corporate interests are working on the technological fixes that will allow Americans to continue to drive their Hummers.” (emphasis added).

Move on to what? Wasn't "[doing our] part to help the planet" the whole idea? It takes a lot of balls to complain about getting what you (publicly) said you wanted in the first place. Just goes to show that there's no pleasing the perpetually pissed-off. So, why is it a problem that people and corporations have bought in to good environmental stewardship?

The Left invented Earth Day as a tool for their ideology. One of the self-identified "founders" of Earth Day, Bay Area activist John McConnell, has written that in 1969 he proposed to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors a new holiday to be called Earth Day on the first day of spring, the Equinox, around March 21.

But, he wrote, in 1970 local anti-Vietnam War and Environmental Teach-in activists "who were planning a one-time event for April 22, also decided to call their event Earth Day."

And what was this unnamed "one-time event" in 1970? It was the 100th birthday celebration for Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, known to history as Lenin...

Requests by sincere environmentalists to change Earth Day’s date – as one logically would do if a holiday had been accidentally placed on the birthday of a mass murderer such as Adolf Hitler – have been rejected or harshly rebuffed.

The crux of the argument is that the extreme left has hidden its revolutionary agenda in the language of the environmental movement. If you sincerely care about your local and global environments, you owe it to yourself to read the whole thing. Then go have some watermelon with your Earth Day barbecue, because it's green on the outside but oh, so red within.

Two Americas

2007-04-19T07:41:00.000-06:00

Sure there are, and Mr. Edwards, a former trial lawyer who amassed his fortune by sticking it to anyone with pockets deep enough to get his attention, epitomizes the idea.

Add his $400.00 haircuts to his tirades against Wal-mart (while simultaneously and audaciously sending his staffers there for special treatment) and what do you get? A man arguing with himself.

I wonder, since I have my own clippers and cut my hair in my bathroom, which America does that put me in?

UPDATE: I forgot about this video from 2004.

Pipe-dreams

2007-04-17T10:46:00.000-06:00

I took a helicopter ride to another base south of Florencia last week. We went to another Battalion HQ about 100 KM to our southwest, in Putumayo Department, and I got acquainted with their leadership and operations. It's not for nothing they're called the Brigada de la Selva, the Jungle Brigade; as the pictures attest there's nothing but canopy as far as you can see.

And there's so much water. We flew over 100s of rivers, some just a trickle, others a kilometer wide. And that's just in a 100-km span! It's no wonder the Amazon is 16 km wide in places. It puts the Mississippi to shame.

The rain forest stretches from horizon to horizon, except where it's been cut away for farming or coca production. Now, it's one thing to be concerned for the rain forest, but to oppose people making a living from the land they live on is the height of foreign environmental arrogance. Yes, there has been lots of land cleared for cattle ranching, lumber, farming, but let's declare a truce, shall we? We let people struggling to make an honest living from the land they live on alone, and we can concentrate our vilification of 'tree killers' to those whose operations are focused on one thing: clearing forests to grow coca and fund a war that has been killing innocent people for 40 years and ruining millions of lives worldwide.

The solution to Colombia’s insurgency goes far beyond bullets and bombs – it requires both a local solution and a global one. In order for this to happen, the government needs to prove that it can secure the safety of the people, not just kill bandidos. It needs to demonstrate how it is providing and ensuring a safe place to live and work in legitimate endeavors. The global solution lies in reducing the profitability of the narco-terrorists’ product. Like the fire triangle (fuel, oxygen and heat) the drug trade depends on three things to be so profitable: Supply (though inefficient, coca production is not difficult), Demand (no shortage there) and Control (illegality fuels profitability). Remove one of those three legs and you put out the fire.

Not only that, but they’d lose a large portion of their local support. The FARC specializes in intimidating farmers (and much of the rest of the population) into either paying ‘safety taxes’ or growing coca instead of cows. Most of the time, the campesinos have no real alternative. Remove coca’s profitability and those farmers would be free to contribute to the Colombian economy instead of the FARC’s coffers. They’d be free to raise cattle, food, open an ecotourism enterprise (rain forest river trips, anyone?), or other development. There’s so much petrol in this area that it’s not even funny.

Which is not to say the FARC won’t find another source of income; they’ve been kidnapping people for 40 years to finance their “revolution”. But that’s not nearly as lucrative as the drug trade. And providing people with a legitimate means of living will undermine the FARC so much more than military operations alone.

The going rate.

2007-04-11T11:14:00.000-06:00

We went to fill up the truck today, and the rate was $6,730 pesos per gallon of poor quality gas. $3.07 per gallon in gringo money.

The exchange rate today is $2,193.85 pesos / $1.00 (yes, the dollar sign is the peso sign). In other words, 1 Colombian peso = $0.00046305596 US, according to a Google search for "colombian peso". I've found that when I stop thinking in terms of dollars and just realize that it's a different economy, it's perfectly normal for everyday goods to cost thousands of pesos; the price of food is comparable to the prices you pay in the States. Once you convince your brain to count things in pesos instead of convert them to dollars, you remove a lot of the worry about money.

The smallest coin (that I have seen) is worth $50 pesos, then $100, $200, $400 and $500. Bills start at $1,000, then $2,000, $5,000, $10,000, $20,000 (most common denomination) and $50,000.

There's no place like home

2007-04-09T09:54:00.000-06:00

I finally made it to church yesterday. There are three LDS branches in town; I went to the late one. Like most places here, the chapel was behind a security fence, and most of the doors remain locked, but the people were like most Latter-day Saints anywhere else; extremely friendly, open and welcoming, even to a gringo. Oh, it was even air-conditioned inside.

It was Fast & Testimony meeting, and I think that everyone in the congregation got up to speak. Here's where it's different from a ward in the states: no one spoke for more than two minutes. There was no prefacing with a trip report, no "I had an wonderful experience that made me think of something else and it helped me grow", no posturing; none of this stuff (ya gotta click on the listen link), just simple statements of faith and gratitude. It was fantastic.

After the meeting, they invited me to their homes, which I had to politely decline. The problem is that I'm a gringo, and the wrong people are watching -- this place is crawling with FARC. I fear that associating myself with the local Church membership any more than I have already would endanger them, make them targets. So, I'll have to stagger my church attendance, going to each of the three branches, and skipping some weeks, to make myself unpredictable, so as not to draw undue attention to the chapel. Enough LDS chapels have been bombed in this country without my adding more fuel to the fire.

Holy Week

2007-04-06T10:26:00.001-06:00

It's Holy Week, which means that Latin America, along with the rest of the Christian world, is commemorating the last week in the life of Jesus Christ. In Colombia, it means that nothing is getting done between Maundy Thursday and Easter Sunday. Everyone is on vacation or something like it.

The question is: are the FARC also taking a Holy Week break? Do the regular foot soldiers still hold to their traditions, in spite of the atheistic, stalinist and maoist nature of their revolution? What about the FARC leadership? Surely they are dedicated atheists; after all, they want to change the whole of Colombian society, and there's nothing more deeply entrenched in that society than the religious traditions. But again, I have to wonder about their 15-year-old "recruits" and their dedication to the whole communist philosophy.

My guess is that since the FARC and the army both pull from the same gene pool, these traditions run deeper than the dedication of the average FARC foot soldier, and he will probably go to Mass tonight. Catholicism is also upheld and reinforced by the army, so that the average soldier knows he's fighting for not only his country, but his religious tradition as well (and yes, with a compulsory service, you get Catholics, Evangelicos, Mormons, et. al.). But even terrorists need a day of rest, right?

All's well that ends well?

2007-04-04T13:03:00.000-06:00

And don't they look good in those Iranian suits? Seems Mr. Ahmadinejad exhausted their propaganda value rather quickly; let's see what they have to say once they're on friendly soil once again. Make no mistake, though, the images and words coming from Iran are not intended for the Western audience, but for the home audience in Iran. They are carefully crafted to show Ahmadinejad as being in full control, and that the British sailors and Marines, not to mention the government, are in his debt; to futher cement his position as the defiant leader against Western civilization.

Um, are you gonna eat that?

2007-04-04T07:57:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we had a delegation from the Embassy in town to see what kind of progress the local government, private sector and military/police forces have made, and to discuss problems and their solutions. At least, that was the idea. It turned into "here are our problems, throw some money at them".

The Colombians pulled out all the stops, though, meeting the delegation with the Mi-17, showing them all the army operations, meeting with the Division commander, and every time we went into another room, somebody came in with a tray of coffee or juice or something. The discussion turned to how do we help dairy farmers get their product to market and give the local economy a boost, thereby making cooperation with FARC less attractive or necessary. From there it turned to cheese. Now, I like cheese, but it was 11:00 in the morning, and lunch wasn't scheduled until 12, and I was accutely aware that talking of cheese doesn't put it in my belly.

So, lunchtime finally came around, and we went up to the Casino (Officers' Club), where they'd brought in a caterer. We could see the grill with smoking meat, and it smelled like a good barbecue was going. After a bit of small talk, they finaly seated us, and brought out the appetizers (fried platano with a pleasant salasa) and finally the main course. On the banana leaf, you can see it: Baked potato, another fried platano, yucca root and - armadillo.

That's right, Texas' most popular roadkill. I've also heard they carry leprosy.

Actually it wasn't bad and tasted nothing like chicken. Kind of dry, but with a gamy sweetness to it. If you have doubts, look at the image: what other meat comes in a rind? It's funny how this works, though. Platos Típicos start out as the food that people just happen to eat, and somehow they evolve into a delicacy. I'd never have chosen this on my own, but I'll try any food once, if it's offered. The yucca, however, tasted just like the name implies: yucka.

This place is crazy!

2007-03-27T18:33:00.001-06:00

For two days now, we've been without reliable water in the house. I can't figure it out. There's one tap that works, but the bathrooms (yes, plural) and kitchen are bone dry. I've been using a bucket to flush with, and fortunately there's hand sanitizer as well. I found out the water was going yesterday, when I was in the shower. Now, if you've read a couple posts below, and looked at the images, you know that there's an electric showerhead. It works this way: water goes through the housing, where it's heated by an electric current. When everything is working properly, i.e. there's sufficient water for the 220 current, it results in a nice, properly warmed shower. When there's not enough water, all you get is not enough really hot water. So, what I'm saying is, there are many ways to fry in this death trap. There just wasn't enough water to dissapate the heat, and I wound up cupping scalding water in my hands, and splashing it on myself to rinse the soap off.

Since there's one pila that does have running water (don't know how or why), I went to the hardware store and bought a small calentador. This is a small ceramic, uh, chunk, wrapped with a tightly coiled wire and connected to - that's right, an electrical plug. You drop the ceramic weight into a bucket of water, then plug it in (it must be in that order) and in 5-7 minutes you have hot water: the old 5-(in this case 1.5)-gallon-bucket-and-a-tin-cup shower.

I also went on my first drive around town today. Wow. Lanes in the road? If they were painted, they'd just be suggestions anyway. There are hundreds of people on motorcycles, and they dart this way and that, and I'm responsible to look out for all of them?! The truck is a manual tranny, which I can handle, but it's been a few years since I drove a stick and I'm a bit rusty, especially on the hills. That means, rev it hard so I don't roll backwards into the family of four on the motorcycle kissing my bumper. I drove out of town to find a fairly important individual, and all those bikes that had been driving like it was motocross? They were doing about 35. KPH. And that was after passing the livestock truck doing that was straining to do 26. That's when it's really nice to have a manual. Just pop it into second and GO! My guide was a young corporal from the Division here. He kept telling me to go straight, go straight! Problem is, in Spanish, "straight" and "right" are one letter different: derecho and derecha. That's still a bit rusty, too. The colombians probably thought I was drunk before 1600.

Helicopters don't really fly...

2007-03-27T07:36:00.000-06:00

...They're just so ugly the earth repels 'em.

I put up a few more images in my Colombia album.

Get to Work!

2007-03-19T16:15:00.000-06:00

I got to my outpost on Saturday, nestled on the east slope of the Andes and the western Amazon Basin, with pirhanna in the rivers. Guess I won't be swimming any time soon. Once again, I shower with an "electric mayem suicide machine"--an electrically heated showerhead, which I was lucky enough to survive two years' worth on my mission. I'm working with two Army guys here, in sort of an advisory role to the Colombian Army. It means I'm supposed to make suggestions on how they can improve their processes. My boss is a Green Beret, and he's done this advisory thing all over the world. So, I'm here thinking of what I have to offer the Colombians. Can't think of much right now, working with air tankers for three years didn't prepare me very well for a jungle counterinsurgency war.

Oh, and I read The da Vinci Code last week during my "hurry up and wait" state. Here's what I thought. I read a couple more of Dan Brown's books, and quickly realized what his formula is:

The protagonists will have to assemble an unusual number of wierd clues to find out who's trying to kill them and save the day.
There will be a mysterious, unnamed villain who is behind it all.
The villain will turn out to be someone you thought you could trust implicitly.
There will also be two or three unsavory characters who seem like they are the colluding villains, but wind up being innocent, even helpful.
There are also one or two patsies (they will die) who carry out the mysterious villain's dirty work.
Twists and turns to make you forget everything I just said. That's the best part.

Snow in Colombia

2007-03-13T14:25:00.000-06:00

...and no, it's not a euphemism.

As I was in a training session, I started hearing the patter patter of rain drops on the roof (made of corrugated steel). Soon, though, the patter-patter turned into a great cacophony as pea-sized hail started falling. 20 minutes and two split ear drums later, there's 3 inches of hail on the ground and crews are brushing it away as best they can with brooms. I guess it's not too bizarre, though, since Bogota sits at 8,600 feet. The average temperature hovers around 55-65 all year.

The only bad thing was all the water leaking into the office around all the electronic equipment. I guess that's how you get the roof fixed, though.

Here are a couple pictures of my apartment. It's in one of the better parts of town, my neighbors include two other embassies, and a third one is just a couple miles away. I feel kind of bad, though. Most of the people who are affected by this conflict will never see this kind of home - I guess that's what some say it's all about in the first place. I think it's even well above my living standard at home; a three bedroom, 4.5 bathroom apartment, and you can drink the water here. Truth be told, though, I use a filter here just like in the Springs.